


Please Let Me In

by Jhellnah



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst Markson, Happy Ending, I SWEAR A HAPPY ENDING HAPPENS, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, JUST PULL THROUGH WITH ME!, M/M, ending Markson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-07-22 10:58:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 28,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7434147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jhellnah/pseuds/Jhellnah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Jackson faces a horrid experience, he lost who he was. He no longer smiles, laughs, no longer speaks. Can GOT7 pick up what's left of Jackson? Can Mark make Jackson feel love again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wang Jackson

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I'm back with another story! This is my first true angst story. I really wanted to challenge myself, and I think this will be a good story. Of course there will be a happy ending for jackson though! Just pull through the experience with me ^^
> 
> **Story starts in March 2015**
> 
> This was posted on AFF first but i finally decided to post it here. I'll update this again next week friday!
> 
> ALSO: Here's a song a reader showed me that really fits with this story! Give it a listen: That's Nothing by Coffee Boy

As soon as they got the phone call, GOT7 drove to the JYP company building as fast as possible. When they got there, Mark was the first person out the car and ran to JYP's office with the others following. Not bothering to knock, Mark busted through the door, his and the group's eyes widened.

On the couch was JYP rubbing the back of a boy. The two looked up at the group. JYP looked up in sadness before looking at the boy again. This boy was almost unrecognizable. Not because of the bruises everywhere, not because of the burns on his arms or the pale skin.

It was because of the broken aura and eyes. All emotion and light had left the other's eyes. Tears fell as Mark called to the other. "Jackson...?"

 

\----

 

_[2 Weeks ago]_

The fans cheered and scream loudly as the seven males walked off stage. "WE FINISHED!!" Jackson shouted while running silly to the dressing room. "YAY!" Bambam followed him.

"Guys it's too late to be screaming that loud." Jinyoung sighed tiredly. Jaebum patted his head and all the members went to change.

"Mark! I can't find my Wang hat, have you seen it?" Jackson asked.

Mark rolled his eyes, going to the hair station. He picked up the hat from one of the chairs before walking back to Jackson. "You should really remember where you put your stuff."

Jackson's eyes glistened. He grabbed the hat and pulled Mark into a hug. "That's what I got you for."

"I'm not always going to be there though."

"Of course you will! Markson forever remember?" Jackson winked at the other.

"Go finish getting ready," Mark shooed Jackson away as a blush came to his ears and Jackson laughed before grabbing Mark's hand. "I'm done already."

"Is everyone finished?" Jaebum called out.

"Just waiting on Youngjae."

"Yugyeom shut it! I'm finished!"

Seeing that everyone was ready, Jaebum sent them outside.

"Jackson, we have to go separate," their manager called. Jackson had to go back to the Roommate residence. "Okay, I'll be right there!" The Chinese idol looked at his other members. "I'll see you guys later."

"Jackson you sure you want to go alone? Manager-hyung has to come to the dorm anyway," Mark asked. He never liked Jackson going by himself, knowing how the other hated being alone.

Jackson smiled at the older. "Mark I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow for our schedule!"

"Alright." Mark left it alone.

"Bye guys!" Jackson rushed over to their manager and got inside the van.

"C'mon let's get home." Jaebum ushered them to their own van and drove home.

Jackson watched as the others drove away. "Hyung, can we get something to eat in a drive thru? I'm hungry."

"I have to take you back to the house though."

"Please~ I'll buy you something!" Jackson gave his best puppy eyes. It seemed to work because the manager sighed and said okay. Jackson smiled brightly before telling him he wanted a burger.

 

\---

 

"Hyung play some music please?"

"Okay. Can you pass me the fries?"

Jackson reached into the bag for fries as the manager turned on the radio. He handed the food over and took a bite of his burger. "How much longer ‘til we get to the house?"

"30 minutes."

"And you have to drive back this late? Do you want to spend the night?"

The manager laughed lightly. "I'll be fine Jackson, don't worry."

Jackson frowned but didn't say anything else. The manager was about to make a left when a car hit them from behind. He stopped the van. "Jackson stay here." Jackson looked behind in worry for the other driver. "Is he okay?"

"I'm about to find out." The manager got out of the van and went to the other car.

The door to the car opened and showed a mid-aged man. "Are you okay?" The manager asked.

"Yeah just hit my head." The man nodded while holding his head.

"Did anything else-"

"HYUNG-!!"

The manager looked back at the van in shock. Two man clad in black were taking a squirming Jackson to a truck. "HEY-" the manager was hit in the back of the head and fell down. With blurry vision he looked up and saw the man from the car smirking at him.

"Sorry but we're taking him."

"No-" The manager's world went black when the guy hit him again.

 

\---

 

Cold air blew around the manager, making him regain consciousness. He sat up and grabbed his head. When he saw the van, panic took over him. He clumsily got up and ran to the vehicle.

Empty.

"Oh my god!!"

\---

 

The loud ring from his cellphone woke up JYP. He groggily picked up the phone.

"Hello...?"

**"Mr. Park!!"**

"It's," he looked at the clock "4am, why are you calling?"

**"Mr. P-Park I have really bad news...!"**

JYP sat up in his bed alert. "What happened?"

**"Jackson was kidnapped!!"**

"WHAT?!"

**"I called the police, they're on their way. I-I'm so sorry Mr. Park-"**

"Stop it, it wasn’t your fault. Are you okay? Where are you, I'm coming."

 

\---

 

Jaebum sat down in front of the TV. It was only 7am and he thought he should get some alone time before the others woke up. He turned on the TV and went to the news. When his eyes saw the headline he stood up and dropped the remote.

"GUYS COME HERE NOW!!"

All the GOT7 members walked out their rooms to the living room sleepily.

Jinyoung was the first to notice Jaebum's expression. "What is it?"

Jaebum shakily lifted his finger to the TV, unable to say it out loud. All the members looked at the TV and all their faces were of shock.

**GOT7 Member Jackson Wang Kidnapped Early Today**

The TV showed the empty van and police surrounding the site. Their manager was shown in the ambulance getting treated and JYP with him.

_"Early today at around 1am Got7 member Jackson Wang was kidnapped. Jackson's van was rear ended as they were on their way to the Roommate set. When the manager went to see if the driver was okay, two other men came and grabbed Jackson. The manager tried to stop them but was hit in the head by the driver who rear ended him. The three were able to escape in a black truck. More will be revealed later."_

"W-What??" Youngjae said with tears falling down his face. Bambam was a crying mess in Yugyeom's arms. Jinyoung shared a look with Jaebum before looking at Mark.

The brunette stood there looking at the screen.

_Jackson. Kidnapped. Gone._

When the words finally registered in his head everything within him fell apart. His legs turned to jelly and he fell to his knees. Tears poured out his eyes. Jinyoung and Jaebum went to him instantly. They hugged and comforted the crying brunette, trying to hold their own sadness and worry. Mark buried himself into Jaebum's chest crying.

"Jackson..."


	2. I Won't Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's a Double Update! Chapter 3 should be posted in the next half hour :)  
> Hope you enjoy!

"Jackson?"

The Chinese idol stared at GOT7 blankly as JYP got up from his seat. "Guys come in..."

The group shuffled into the room and sat on the couches- all away from Jackson. They all looked at him unsure of what to do. Some with pained expressions and some with sadness. Jackson seemed to notice because he hid his bruised and burned arms with the blanket around him and looked down. Seeing this made Mark hurt more.

Without thinking he got up and moved to sit next to the Chinese idol. Jackson looked up and his eyes widened in fear. He instantly moved closer to JYP. Mark watched in surprise. Jackson never ran away from Mark, never. JYP sighed before pulling Jackson to him. "He doesn't like being touched or near people...."

Realization flashed on all their faces. "Sorry..." Mark mumbled looking down. How could he not think about that? Jackson was still traumatized. Why would he want anyone to touch him?

"It's not your fault Mark, don't worry." JYP looked at Jackson. "Do you want to go back to the dorm for the night?"

Jackson stayed silent before shaking his head softly.

"Do you want to stay with your parents?"

Jackson nodded. JYP smiled. "Okay. Tomorrow you're being admitted to the hospital though."

Jackson nodded again. The other's looked at him in worry. Why wasn't he talking?

 

\---

 

_[Day 4 Kidnapped]_

It's been 4 days since Jackson's been kidnapped and it was as if Korea was at a standstill. Jackson's parents were flown to Korea after the news broke out to China. They said they wouldn't leave until Jackson was found.

Roommate was put off the air temporarily. The members of the show and PD didn't want to continue without him. All GOT7 promotions were put to a stop. The group stayed in their dorm refusing to see people. News casters would come after them to ask how they feel and they didn't want to answer. The dorm was quiet as everyone lounged around.

Bambam and Yugyeom were quietly playing their game console in the living room while Youngjae watched blankly. Jaebum and Jinyoung were in the kitchen cooking. Jaebum was behind Jinyoung and held his waist.

"Babe, I'm worried about Mark..."

Jinyoung sighed as he rest against to other. "I am too... I- I just want Jackson to come home safe." Tears started to pool in his eyes. Jaebum turned the younger around and kissed his cheek before pulling him into a hug. "I want him home too. We all do."

 

\---

 

Mark sat in his dark room looking at the other side, the side Jackson slept in. His mind still couldn't registered that Jackson was gone. He grabbed at his chest over his heart. It was clenching painfully as tears fell down his face.

He missed Jackson so so much. It was as if his other half was ripped from him and he couldn't handle it. He sobbed into his hand trying to not let his members hear him.

Was Jackson hurt? Beaten? ...raped? Or worse, kil-? Mark couldn't finish that thought. He suddenly felt queasy. He rushed out of the room and into the bathroom. He shut the door and fell to his knees in front of the toilet, letting everything out of his stomach. A knock came from outside when he flushed the toilet. "Hyung are you okay?!"

"Bambam I'm fine..." Mark stood up and rinsed his mouth out. After making sure he looked okay he opened the door. Bambam looked at him in concern. "You don't look it..."

"I said I'm fine." Mark walked past the younger and back into his room. He went to sit down on the floor again but he heard their front door swing open.

"Everyone come here!!" Their manager called.

Mark walked out the room to the living room and saw their Manager turn on the news.

_"A video was posted this morning and has caused Korea to spiral. Warning, this video might be graphic. Please mind what you will see."_

The group looked shocked when the video was played.

It started pitch black until a single light shined. It shined over a single person tied to a chair. The person looked up glaring at the side. A man in black and a mask came from the side.

_"Hello people of Korea and the world, nice to meet you." The man bowed as if courting someone. He rose again and moved toward the captured person. "This is Jackson Wang, someone I'm sure everyone knows."_

_He moved Jackson's face to the camera. "Say hi to the camera Jackson~"_

_The Chinese idol looked at the camera. "Find m-" he was punched in the face._

_"I said to say hi. Not to ask for help. You'll get punishment for that behavior." Jackson spat blood out to the side and looked at his captor with a glare. "Fuck off."_

_"Ah how stubborn!" The man’s light voice suddenly turned dark. "Let's see how long it takes to break the 'Wild & Sexy' Jackson Wang."_

_The man kicked Jackson's chair making him fall._ The screen went black.

The GOT7 dorm was silent. No one moved, no one said anything. Mark was the first to react. He quickly moved and walked to his room, slamming the door behind him.

 

\---

 

_[Present]_

GOT7 walked into the hospital quietly. Jackson had been admitted two days ago and the kpop group wanted to give him space before coming. They stopped in front of his door.

“You guys ready?” Jaebum asked. They nodded and he opened the door.

Jackson was laying in his bed with his parents at his side talking to him. When they heard the door open, the three look up.

“Oh I’m sorry, we didn’t kn-”

“No no it’s fine. Come in.” Ms. Wang spoke in chinese. Mark spoke up. “She said it’s fine to come in.”

The 6 males walked in and stood there awkwardly. Mr. and Mrs. Wang smiled softly at them before standing up. They spoke to Mark, kissed Jackson’s forehead, and walked out.

“Where are they going?” Youngjae asked, looking at the closed door.

“They went back to their hotel…” Mark looked at Jackson. The Chinese idol was busy looking at his hands. Mark sat down on the chair next to the bed. “Hey… How’re you feeling?”

Jackson looked at Mark before looking back down. He shrugged his shoulders. The brunette sighed, relieved the other acknowledged him. He smiled at the younger. “You missed out on a lot.”

Bambam hopped next to the bed. “Yeah hyung! You wouldn’t believe what happened!”

The maknae line started talking and cracking jokes, telling Jackson what’s been happening at the dorm. Jackson started to relax and gave nods when needed. His mouth had slight tugs on the side, but it never smiled. And the members were okay with that. They understood he just came home and needed time.

While they were laughing though, Yugyeom accidently grabbed Jackson’s hand. The Chinese idol suddenly yelled out, flailing his hand away, and pushing into the bed far from the pink haired maknae. He was breathing heavy and looked genuinely scared. The members looked in shock. Yugyeom moved away from the bed. “Hyung, I’m sorry!! I didn’t mean to-”

Jackson pushed more into the bed and began shaking. He hugged his knees to himself and hid his face in them. “Guys, I think we need to give him some space.” Jinyoung said as he grabbed a crying Yugyeom and Bambam. Youngjae and Jaebum followed them. Mark got out of his seat and was about to follow when-

“Hyung… don’t leave me alone.” the voice croaked.

Mark turned around in shock. Jackson looked at him in tears. The elder nodded his head. He walked to the door. “Guys, I’m staying.”

Jaebum nodded his head. “Okay. Call when you need a ride.”

“Tell him I’m sorry.” Yugyeom spoke gently, wiping his eyes. Mark nodded and closed the door. He walked back to his spot and sat down. Jackson was still curled up to himself.

“I’m here Jacks. We don’t have to talk, okay?”

The Chinese idol nodded his head and it became silent.

"Why don't you lay down and sleep?"

Jackson stayed still before doing what Mark suggested. He curled up in the blanket, his back turned to Mark. The older knew it was because he didn't want Mark to see him crying. Jackson never liked when people saw him cry. He was the mood maker.

Mark stared at the younger in worry. _What happened to you in those 2 weeks…?_

 

\----

 

Thankfully with JYP’s permission, Mark was able to stay at the hospital overnight. He lightly slept in the chair next to Jackson's bed. He almost fell into a deep sleep when he heard rustling. He cracked his eyes open and saw Jackson squirming in the bed. The younger was sweating and breathing heavy.

Mark sat up instantly and called softly to the other. "Jackson? Jackson wake up."

The other didn't hear him and started mumbling out loud incoherently.

Mark didn't know what to do. He didn't want to touch the boy but that was the only way to wake him. He grabbed the other's arms firming and that seemed to only add fuel to the fire.

Jackson's eyes snapped opened and he screamed out. He started to thrash in Mark's hold.

"Jackson! Jackson stop it's me, Mark!"

He didn't listen. He pushed the older away and ran to the corner of the room. He crouched into a fetal position against the wall and covered his ears, crying hysterically. "I'M SORRY! Please don't hurt me- I won't talk again! I won't!"

Mark only stood there frozen. "Who said you couldn't-"

Before he could finish, nurses and Jackson's doctor came inside the room rushing to the boy's side. Mark could only watch as they tried to calm the hysterical idol who didn't want anyone touching him, injecting him with a sedative. Jackson's thrashing slowed down until they stopped completely. The nurses sighed and helped out Jackson back into the bed as the doctor faced Mark.

"What happened?"

"I-I don't know. He was restless so I tried I wake him up and this happened..."

The doctor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You have to be careful Mark. He's in a delicate stage and doesn't feel safe yet. You can't touch him. It triggers memories we would like him to hopefully get pass."

Guilt ridden Mark nodded silently. Seeing this the doctor gave a sympathetic smile and patted the idol's shoulder. "Get some sleep."

Mark wasn't sure if he would be able to, with Jackson's scared face haunting his mind for the night.


	3. Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update of the update!

_Jackson opened his eyes and was met with a dark room. He was laying on the concrete floor in nothing but his underwear, chained to the wall on the floor. His body ached and his arms were in absolute pain, with his wrist cut up from the handcuffs. The door to his room opened and 3 men walked inside and the lights turned on._

_“Good Morning Jackson~”_

_Jackson didn’t say anything and glared up at the group. The man in the middle smiled devilishly. “That’s no way to look. You should be excited, it’s 10 o’clock! You know what that means, right?”_

_Jackson looked up with wide fearful eyes and began to struggle against his chains. The men grab him and he starts to struggle against them. “Get the fuck off m-” He received a punch to the face. “What did I say about talking?!” The man shouted. “Turn him over.”_

_The chinese idol was turned on to his stomach. He shivered as he felt the man hover over him. “Know this Jackson._ **_You’re mine_ ** _. And I’ll make sure you never forget.”_

_Suddenly Jackson felt something sharp against his tailbone and all that could be heard was a painful cry._

Jackson shot up from his sleep with a scream. He looked around frantically as he breathed heavily, sweating. It was morning, and he was in the hospital.  He eyes landed on a worried pair of chocolate orbs. He realized it was Mark looking at him from his chair. Jackson blinked. _A dream..._

“Jacks, are you okay?”

Jackson didn’t say anything, choosing to turn away from the older idol and hide under his blanket. Tears streamed down his face quietly as memories flashed through his memory. His body quaked hard and he muffled his cries by biting his lip.

Mark got up from his seat in worry. “Jackson. Jackson _please_ , let me in.” 

Jackson only curled more into himself and stayed under the blanket. 

Mark stood there helpless. The only thing he could do was talk. “I want to help you. I’m here for you, Jackson.” 

The hospital room door was open and the brunette looked up to see who it was. Jackson’s doctor came inside. He looked at the scene in front of him and frowned sadly. He walked over quietly and called out to Jackson. “Jackson, I have to send you to the bathroom. The nurse has to change your bandages. Is it okay?” 

Jackson stayed quiet before raising the blanket from his face. He looked at the doctor blankly.

“No one is going to hurt you, I promise. We just need you to be clean for a fast recovery.” The doctor said, hoping it would help the idol. 

The short raven haired nodded as he sat up. He sniffled and wiped his nose with his hand. With that the doctor signalled the nurse to bring in a wheelchair for Jackson. Mark looked at Jackson. “Is it okay if I…” He didn’t finish, he left the sentence hanging in the air. Jackson looked at him before shrugging his shoulder and looking away.

“Follow me.” The nurse spoke as she pushed Jackson out of the room.

 

\---

 

Mark didn’t realize it was _this_ bad, the damage to Jackson’s body. He tried his best to keep a neutral face as he watched Jackson remove his hospital gown to get in the bath. There were bruises and cuts _everywhere_. What really caught his attention and made him want to throw up was a particular area of Jackson’s back. Resting on the idol’s tailbone were tiny cuts that spelled out a word that spoke possessiveness.

 **_Mine_**.

Mark thought he was going to be sick. _What the hell did he do to you?_ He thought to himself as he noticed Jackson wouldn’t even face the mirror, fully aware of how he looks.

It hurts when the one you love is in pain and there’s nothing you can do to help. He wanted Jackson to know he was here but Jackson didn’t really trust anyone anymore. The one who loves skinship now dreaded it the most. The irony of it was too great.

Jackson sat down in the warm bath quietly and the nurse moved from her spot. “Jackson just hit this when you are finished, okay?” She asked while pointing at a bell on the sink counter. When Jackson nodded she smiled sadly at him and looked at Mark. “Let’s give him some privacy, he needs it.”

Mark nodded and walked out behind the nurse, not without looking at Jackson one more time who returned the look. Jackson looked away as the door began to close, until he only heard a click. Once he heard it, it became water works for him. 

He sobbed quietly and hugged himself.

 

\---

_[Day 6 Kidnapped]_

 

GOT7 was visited by members of Roommate at their dorm. It was Gook Ju, Seho, Dong Wook, Kang Joon, and Youngji. They all seemed just as restless and tired as the idol group. 

“How have you guys been?” Dong Wook asked.

Jaebum gave a tired smile. “Could be better, but we’re hanging in there...”

Seho looked at the group, “Have the police said anything?”

Jinyoung shook his head. Youngjae sighed “They are looking at the video for any clues but nothing so far.” 

Gook Ju covered her face and sighed while Youngji kept her head down, her bangs hiding her face. Everyone stayed quiet - because that’s all they could do.

 

\---

_[Present]_

 

Mark had come back to the hospital the next day. He informed the group of Jackson’s condition, took a shower, and left as soon as the van came to pick him up. When he got there he found Jackson sitting up watching TV quietly. “Hey, Jackson. I brought some of your clothes for you.” 

The chinese idol snapped his head toward him and blinked owlishly. Mark smiled and walked to the bed with a suitcase. “I brought your snapbacks too.” Mark pulled out a few of Jackson’s Wang Hats. Jackson tentatively took one out of his hands and stared at it. He looked at Mark again and then put the hat on. He sighed softly and looked at the suitcase.

“Do you want an outfit?” The Taiwanese asked.

Jackson nodded and got out of his bed. Mark grabbed the suitcase and put it on the bed, opening the bag, revealing all sorts of clothing. Jackson grabbed the first thing he saw- a blue sweater, the pants that drooped, and a black long sleeve. Mark grabbed the suitcase and put it on the floor while Jackson changed. Out of the hospital gown, Jackson didn’t look like he was a patient, sadly he still had bandages on his face and hands.

Jackson bit his lip and put his hands in his pockets. Mark noticed and looked Jackson in the face, “Is something wrong?”

Jackson stared back and opened his mouth, but closed it and shook his head. He buried his head like turtle into his sweater and sat on the hospital bed again.

“Are you sure?” 

Jackson nodded. The older nodded and put everything to the side when he felt a hand tug at the side of his shirt. He looked at Jackson in surprise. “Jackson?”

Jackson looked up at him with big eyes, trying to send a message to the older idol. Getting the message Mark smiled. “You’re welcome. I’m always here.” 

There was a knock on the door and a nurse popped her head in. “Jackson, you have quite a number of visitors.”

Jackson looked surprised and Mark spoke for him. “Let them in please.”

The nurse nodded and opened the door wide, revealing the Roommate members. All of them seemed relieved to see Jackson and swarmed inside. 

“Jackson!!” Joonhyung shouted as they all surrounded the bed.

“Are you okay?”

“We were so worried for you!”

“I’m so glad to see you.”

The Chinese idol looked nervous from everyone talking and Mark stood up next to the bed. “Guys please.”

“Oh, we’re sorry Jackson.” Jong Ok spoke softly. Jackson nodded at her, averting his eyes to his lap.

“Jackson… are you okay?” Sunny asked in worry.

“He’s not talking.” Mark commented out loud to everyone, watching as everyone reacted in shock. “And he doesn’t li-”

“J-Jackson?”

Everyone looked at the door and found Heo Youngji, who just got to the hospital, standing there in shock. Her eyes were wide and glassy as she stared at the Chinese idol. He stared back with matching eyes. She dropped her bag and walked inside. Seeing what she was about to do Mark spoke in a hurry. “Youngji he doesn’t like being-” But before he could finish Youngji already had her arms around Jackson, hugging him close. Mark flinched inwardly, ready for the worst to come.

Jackson eyes widen and he pushed the girl away quickly. He stared at her and the rest of the Roommate members in fear, breathing escalating slightly. Everyone was surprised and Youngji looked plain hurt. Mark sighed. “He doesn’t like being touched now.”

Youngji gasped and looked at the raven head. “I’m so sorry Jackson. I didn’t know...”

Jackson looked at her warily before nodding.

The rest of the visit went pretty well. Jackson was officially removed from Roommate but everyone promised to visit again. They all said their goodbyes and waved, leaving the two idols alone again. “You okay?”

Jackson nodded and grabbed the TV remote. He changed the channel and the news came on.

_“It’s been three days since Wang Jackson has been found and has been admitted to the hospital. There still isn’t any report about the abductors sentences. There also hasn’t been any news on GOT7’s future plans-”_

Jackson turned off the TV and frowned deeply. Mark knew why.

The doctor came inside the room again. “Jackson, I’m happy to tell you you’re being discharged in 2 days.”

Mark sighed in relief.

“However you have to come back once a week for therapy.”

The idols were baffled. “Excuse me?”

“He needs therapy. His mind is very unstable right now.” 

Jackson shook his head vigorously.

“Jackson it’s not a choice. As your doctor I’m making it mandatory. You need this to get better.” 

Jackson stared at him with pleading eyes. Mark felt bad. Jackson isn’t ready to talk to someone about his problems- hell he doesn’t even talk now. Whatever those 3 men did in 2 weeks, fucked Jackson up physically and emotionally.

And therapy wasn’t going to fix it.


	4. I'll Be Here, When You Laugh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another double Update! Next one will be out within 5 to 7 minutes (Im trying to be punctual lol)

_[2 months ago]_

 

Jackson and Mark were laying on their backs side-by-side on the rooftop of their dormitory. The night sky was beautiful with stars scattered across it. “The sky is beautiful…” Mark whispered.

“Mark?” Jackson called quietly.

“Hm?”

“Do you ever wonder what it’s like to love someone and be loved back?”

Mark looked at the short haired raven in confusion. “Where did that come from?”

Jackson shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m just curious.”

“Well right now I’m not looking for it so I guess, no?” 

Jackson pouted at the sky before smiling. “Well as a kid I always wanted to. I wanted to know what it’s like to have those feelings we always sing about. To see stars when you look at them and to have butterflies.” Jackson chuckled as he gazed at the sky with longing. “... But, I think I already felt that in life honestly- it’s kind of funny I think...” Mark looked at Jackson’s serene face as he talked staring up at the sky, his eyes shining under the moonlight.

Mark saw stars whenever he looked at Jackson. He always had butterflies when Jackson was near. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t looking for it.

He already found it.

 

\---

  _[Present]_

 

The car ride back to the GOT7 dorm was quiet. Jackson sat in the back alone while Mark was in the passenger seat next to their manager. 

“Do you guys want some music on?” The oldest asked as he look at Jackson from the rear view mirror. The chinese idol returned his stare before shrugging his shoulders and looking out the window.

The manager sighed sadly before turning on the radio. Mark looked at his hyung in sympathy. He knew the older male felt responsible for Jackson’s kidnapping. He might have to talk to Jackson about this- well him speaking and Jackson just listening.

Once they made it to the dorms they were surprised to find a mob of people, fans and reporters alike, waiting for them. Jackson looked in fear and Mark didn’t like it at all. He turned to the manager. “Go through the back. I’ll call Jaebum to distract them.”

The manager nodded as he went past the building and turned the corner. Mark called Jaebum and drummed his fingers impatiently against his leg. “Hurry up…”

 

**“Hello?”**

“JB, I need a favor.”

 **“Yeah what’s up? Where are you guys?”**  

“In the back of the building. There’s a crowd in the front and Jackson is terrified. Can you distract them and Jr. open the door from the back?”

**“Yeah of course! Give us a minute.”**

 

“Thanks.” Mark hung up. “They’ll be down in a minute.”

“Okay.” The manager pulled up behind the building and thankfully it was deserted.

Then the back door opened revealing Jinyoung in pajamas. “Pst c’mon!” He whisper screamed, beckoning them. The three got out of the car and quickly went inside the building. They walked inside the elevator, Jinyoung called Jaebum while Jackson went to the farthest corner possible. Once the elevator doors opened, the four walked out and went straight to their dorm room. 

The door opened and confetti was sprayed everywhere.

“Welcome back Hyung!!” The maknae line screamed as Yugyeom held a cake with lit candles. Jackson stood there staring at them owlishly and blinked at the candles, sweat starting to form on his neck. Flashes of his burns formed in his mind. Jinyoung went next to the three members and smiled. “Well, blow-.”

Jackson walked over to the cake and blew out the fire quickly. Realizing he’s hasty actions, he looked down and put his hands in his pocket. He wanted them to know he was sorry but he didn’t know how. So he did the only thing he could think of. He made a noise through his close lips. Youngjae looked up and his face flashed in realization. “Hyung, are you scared of flames too?”

Being caught red handed, Jackson’s head snapped up. “Oh shit we should have known.” Jinyoung facepalmed. “I’m sorry Jackson.”

Jackson’s eyes widened as he shook his head making another noise again.

Mark walked next to Jackson. “I think Jackson is saying don’t be sorry.”

The chinese idol nodded in agreement.

Bambam smiled. “Then... do you want some cake hyung?”

Jackson nodded and their door was opened with Jaebum walking inside.

Jinyoung walked over to him and grabbed his hands. “How did it go?”

“Good I guess. I asked if they could give us some time alone for recovery and what not.”

The younger smiled before leaning his face closer and resting his forehead on the other’s. Jaebum smiled back and kissed the younger’s nose. Jackson looked at the scene before abruptly walking into the kitchen with Bambam and Yugyeom behind him. Mark watched the whole thing and looked at the retreating raven head in confusion.

 

\---

_[1 month ago]_

 

Mark and Jackson had just finished recording their 4th appearance on After School Club. Mark sat down next to Jackson and turned to him. “You did good today! And I really liked your British accent. We should ask if we can come 2 weeks from now.”

“Mhmm…” 

“...You okay?” Mark asked the younger looking at him in concern.

Jackson shook his head. “No- no thanks to you!” He pointed a finger at the brunette’s chest accusingly, poking it slightly.

The older looked at the younger incredulously. “What did I do?”

“You were being all cute and shit! Now I can’t stop this giddy feeling in my stomach!”

Mark blinked at the other. “What?”

Jackson pouted before walking away huffing. “You’re still doing it!”

“...You think I’m cute?” Mark asked himself, a blush dusting his ears. Realizing the younger male left, Mark ran after him. “Hey wait up Jackson!”

“No! I can’t handle you right now!” Jackson started to walked around the set faster and Mark chased after him.

“Aww they’re so cute!” Jimin squealed next to Eric. The older sighed and watched the idols run around. “They’re something else alright.”

Mark caught up to the younger and wrapped his arms around his neck from behind. “C’mon Jacks don’t be like that~”

“You stop being like that! Then I’ll stop!”

Mark pouted and Jackson blushed deeply and turned away. "Stop!!"

Mark frowned and removed his arms, moving a step away from the younger. "Okay, I'll stop." He looked away from the younger dejected.

Jackson looked at him and frowned. "You're an idiot."

Mark made a hurt look. "What the hell? Why would you say-"

Jackson suddenly pulled him close and whispered in Mark’s ear, "Don't ever stop. You know better than to believe me."

Mark blushed. "You should be more clear then."

"My bad." Jackson pulled away and smiled. "I would never want to hurt you, love."

"Love!?"

Jackson laughed at Mark's reaction and flicked his forehead. "You're so fun to tease!"

Mark went home that night with an overly excited heart.

 

\---

_[Present]_

 

Mark laid down in his bed in silence. Jackson was on the other side of the room, being as quiet as ever. “Jackson…” 

He heard rustling and knew the younger was giving him his attention.

He closed his eyes. “I’ll be here when you laugh again. Just remember that I’ll always be here.”

He was met with silence, as usual. He sighed and turned to his side. “Good night...” 

Mark fell asleep. Never seeing Jackson laying there internally battling his heart.

He wasn’t ready to open up to Mark, not yet.


	5. Mark... I'm Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update of today! 
> 
> It gets a little heavy so I put ** so you guys know when it starts and ends!

_ [4 weeks ago] _

 

"Guys we're going to take a break. 20 minutes." Jaebum called before he pulled Jinyoung to the couches with him to lay and snuggled with him. Jinyoung whined but made no attempt to push the other away, instead pushing against the older male.

"Ewwww get a room!" Bambam shouted across the room.

"Bam you're no better with Yugyeom!" Youngjae shouted.

Yugyeom blushed and Bambam shouted embarrassed. "Yah!! We're not even dating!!"

"Yeah okay!"

Jackson and Mark watched the members shout at each other from the corner of the room. Jackson had his head on Mark's shoulder and was humming one of their songs. Mark was playing with the younger's fingers when he called out to him. "Kaka..."

"Hm?"

"Remember when we were on the rooftop and you asked that question, about love?"

"Of course, why?"

"I think I know what it's like."

Jackson lifted his head and stared at him with wide glistening eyes, holding something behind them- hope? 

"You do? Who is it?"

Mark only smiled and ran a hand through the raven's short hair before watching his group members play around. He wasn't going to tell Jackson just yet.

 

\---

_ [Present] _

 

It’s been 4 days since Jackson’s been back at the dorm. 

It was weird. 

Jackson felt weird being back with his members and hearing them laughing and playing around. It was weird being in a bright home again and not a cold dark room. It was weird not fearing for his life, being “safe” from those three men. Jackson sat on the floor of the living room in the corner, watching the maknaes play Just Dance. Youngjae and Jinyoung were in the kitchen making lunch. Mark and Jaebum had went to the grocery store to get dairy products. 

Once the dance ended Bambam turned to Jackson with a grin. “Hyung why don’t you play?”

Jackson frowned before shaking his head. He didn’t have the heart to dance, or do anything really. He just- he just wanted to be left alone. But it seemed Bambam didn’t understand. “Hyung c’mon you love this game!”

Jackson furrowed his brows and stood up. He walked away from the two but Bambam followed. Yugyeom looked in worry and followed them. “Bambam sto-” 

“Hyung!” Bambam did something really stupid, he grabbed Jackson’s arm hard trying to stop the older from walking away. Jackson’s eyes widened and his body went tense, fully on alarm.

Images of hands touching him flashed through Jackson’s mind and he snapped. He turned around and punched Bambam in the face. His eye’s widened as he watched Bambam fall to the floor.

“Bambam!” Yugyeom ran to the Thai idol who was bleeding in the nose. Youngjae and Jinyoung ran out of the kitchen and gasped at the sight. 

“What happened?!” Jinyoung asked as he went next to Jackson and Youngjae ran to check Bambam.

“Bambam grabbed his arm.” Yugyeom spoke as he held the thai’s nose close. 

“Why would you do that Bambam?” Youngjae asked exasperated.

Bambam looked down and was silent. Jinyoung frowned before looking at Jackson. “Jackson are you ok-”

Jackson shook his head and ran away to his room, slamming the door. Just as his door closed the front door opened and Mark and Jaebum walked inside. They were stunned by the scene in front of them and hurried to the bleeding maknae. “What the hell happened?!” Jaebum inspected Bambam’s face while Mark went to get a washcloth and icepack.

“I asked Jackson to play Just Dance and he said no. I complained and he walked away. I forgot he doesn’t like to be touched and followed him grabbing his arm. He snapped and punched me. I’m sorry.” Bambam whispered and Mark came back. He handed Yugyeom the washcloth and icepack. Yugyeom wiped Bambam’s nose and the young raven head smiled in thanks. Yugyeom gave him a small smile. Mark looked around. “Where’s Jackson?”

“He ran to the room…” Jinyoung spoke as he ran a hand through his hair.

Jaebum looked at Mark. “Give him some space.” Mark nodded while looking at the door in worry.  
  


 

It was nighttime and the other members went to their rooms- well Youngjae has the room to himself because Jinyoung insisted that Jaebum sleep in his tiny single room (for their “needed” privacy) and Bambam asked Mark to tell Jackson he was sorry.

Mark stood in front of his room. The room Jackson walked into an hour ago. He quietly opened the door and found Jackson on his (Mark's) bed hugging his knees to his chest and hiding his face in them, shaking slightly. Mark blinked at the sight before walking inside and closing the door behind him. “....Bambam is going to be alright. He said sorry for forgetting.”

The raven head remained unmoving as Mark crouched down in front of him.

"Kaka..."

Jackson's head shot up at the nickname he hadn't heard in what felt like forever. Mark stared at the younger and studied him. Jackson’s hair had gotten slightly longer and spiky at the back. His cuts were fading away and the nasty bruise on his neck was almost gone. He still had rosy plump lips and puppy eyes. In a way he was still Jackson. The older smiled at him.

"Remember when I told I had found someone to love?"

Jackson looked at him confused before nodding his head slowly.

"You know it was you right? That it’s you I love."

The younger's eyes turned to huge saucers and his mouth hanged open.

Mark’s smile softened. "And no matter what happened or what happens in the future, you're still my Wang Jackson and I love you… and I won’t let another thing hurt you. I’ll wait for you to get better- I’ll help you get better if that’s what it takes. I don’t know if you feel the same but I don’t care. As long as I have you, I’m okay."

Jackson's heart started to slam against his rib cage at the brunette’s confession and was finding it hard to breathe. He suddenly felt a wetness on his face. He touched it and realized he was crying. 

"Jackson?"

The younger looked the older in the eyes. Mark bit his lip and looked nervous. "Can... C-Can I hug you?" Jackson stared at him blankly and Mark panicked. "I-I mean you don't have to-"

He shut up when Jackson jumped onto him, pulled him into a crushing hug and burying his head into Mark's chest. Mark instinctively wrapped his arms him and was in a state of shock. Jackson was touching him- letting himself be touched. “J-Jackson are you okay?”

The other male didn’t say anything. He only pressed more against Mark’s chest.

_ I love you too. I just can’t tell you…  _

 

\---

 

_ ** _ _ Jackson huddled to the corner of the dark room. His tailbone still stung from being pierced 3 days ago. Was it three days ago? His sense of time was fucked. The only thing that tells him time is when the three men come inside his room at 10am and the beep from the broken clock every time it was 12am. That happened 4 hours ago so he had about 6 before they came- he thinks. _

_ He stared at his arms and honestly felt like crying. He had shackles on, he looked horrible, he felt horrible, and he was in a horrible place with no way out. He thought of everyone. His family, his friends, JYP, but one person kept replaying again and again.  _

_ “Mark…” Jackson spoke as his tears fell. God he missed his hyung so much. He missed his laugh, his presence, everything. “Mark I miss you so much.”   _

_ While he was lost in his thoughts he didn’t hear the door opening.  _

_ “Why are you calling for him...” _

_ Jackson looked up seeing the three man and tried to move, but he realized he was in the corner. _

_ The man in the middle frowned. He looked at the other two men beside him. “Get out, and lock it behind you.” The two men did as told and left the room, locking it behind him. Jackson watched in fear as the man came closer. He grabbed the younger’s chin firmly and pulled his face close. “Why are you calling for another man when you have me Jackson? Is he the only one who fills your mind?” _

_ Jackson kept his mouth shut- knowing he shouldn’t utter a word or else punishment. The man smiled sweetly and Jackson felt his heart drop. The man let go of Jackson’s face and towered over Jackson’s body on the floor. “Well then,” He grabbed his belt buckle. “We’ll just have to fix that won’t we?”  _

_ Jackson gasped and his body started to shake. “N-no p-please-” _

_ Jackson was silenced as the man grabbed his face and smashed their lips together. All Jackson could taste was cigarettes and alcohol. More tears came down his face when he tried to push the other away but his body was so weak from the abuse. He was pushed down to his back and the man straddled his hips. Jackson kept trying to resist his captor. _

_ The man grew angry and slammed Jackson’s hands to either side of him and leaned down so their faces were inches apart. “If you keep thrashing I’ll purposely make it painful.” Jackson didn’t want to submit to him. Not at all. He squirmed more under the other’s hold. “Get off me!”  _

_ The older rose his body back up and gave Jackson a dark look. His voice was deep as he spoke in the quiet room. “I guess you leave me no choice.” _

_ Jackson’s face hit concrete floor and his arms were pinned behind him. He gasped when his ass was raised in the air. He flinched as the hand gripped his hip hard, surely leaving a bruise. He shut his eyes as he felt the man hover over his body and whispered into his ear. “Don’t call Mark ever again.” _

_ Jackson screamed as he felt himself be ripped open. Thick tears cascaded down his face as his abductor mercilessly took him. The pain, you couldn’t describe it. It was on another level that Jackson never wanted to experience. He bit his lip, so hard making it bleed so he could hold back his sobs. He didn’t want to get in more trouble by talking.  _

_ As the man above continued to take the very last piece of Jackson’s sanity, the chinese idol stared blankly at the wall with tears constantly falling. He couldn’t help but feel like this was it. This is all his life will be for the rest of his existence.  _

_ ‘Mark... Mark I’m sorry.’ he kept thinking. _

_ “Jackson.”  _  
  


_...Mark? _ _ ** _

 

“Jackson!”

 

The chinese idol’s eyes snapped opened and he suddenly felt hot and sweaty. He sat up. Mark was sitting next to him watching in worry. “You were calling me in your sleep… Are you okay?”

He wasn’t on the concrete floor getting raped. He was in his room with Mark. Jackson felt so relieved he couldn’t stop the tears and hiccups from erupting out of him. “...M-Mark…” He cried harder. The brunette moved and engulfed Jackson into a tight hug. Jackson gripped the other’s back tightly and cried his eyes outs. Everything that he was feeling and holding inside was released on to Mark’s shirt in forms of salty liquid. 

“Shh...it’s okay… just let it out.” Mark pet his head softly and rocked him side-to-side. Jackson missed this. He missed warmth, and Mark,

  
Mark was his warmth.


	6. Slowly Changing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because double updates are the best- Chapter 7 should be up in at least 5 minutes

It was the next day and Mark quietly walked out of the room, careful not to wake Jackson up. He went to the kitchen and found Jaebum pouring himself orange juice. He opened the fridge for milk. “Morning.”

Jaebum looked over at him and smiled. “Morning.” He sipped his drink. “How’s Jackson?”

Mark found the milk and took it out. “He’s doing better. He actually hugged me….”

“Really?” Jaebum asked in surprise.

“Mhmm but he had a break down. A bad dream or memory, I’m not sure but he wouldn’t leave my bed after that.” He poured himself a glass and downed it one go.

Jaebum sighed. “At least he’s finding someone to trust. I’m not surprised it’s you though.”

Mark gave him a confused look and Jaebum shook his head. “I won’t tell you what I mean. You’ll find out.”

Just then a sleepy Jinyoung came inside rubbing his eyes. “Morning…” His voice was scratchy from sleep. Jaebum chuckled before handing his orange juice over. Jinyoung smiled in thanks and sipped the juice. He walked to his lover and pressed against him, burying his head into the older's shoulder. “Ugh you would think I would get enough sleep with no schedules…”

Jaebum pat his head fondly and Mark smiled at the sight. He really envied the love Jaebum and Jinyoung had for each other, being together since JJ Project. They had a telepathic connection. One look and they knew the other’s feelings and thoughts. They really were the parents of the group and Mark was grateful for them. He strived to be like them. He would love to be like that with Jackson. 

“We can just go back to sleep babe.” Jaebum proposed.

“Please, I got to feed the kids or else they’ll starve. After though, let’s sleep.” Jinyoung said before getting to work on breakfast. Jaebum instantly went to his side and started to help him. 

“I’m going to check on Jacks.” Mark called before walking back to his room. He opened the door. Jackson was sitting up and looked up at the brunette with puppy eyes. The older smiled at him. He walked across the room to his bed, taking a seat next to the raven head. “Morning.”

Jackson blinked at him. He made a noise and looked down. Mark craned his neck to look at the younger idol. “Are you feeling better? You seemed really down yesterday…”

The younger nodded and did something that surprised the older. He moved his head so that it could bump Mark’s softly, their forehead rested against each other. “J-Jackson?”

Jackson moved his head and got up from the bed, he went to his side of his room and pulled out a bag the hospital gave him, holding it out to the other. Mark looked at him. “You want me to change your bandages for you?”

He nodded and shook them. Mark got up and grabbed the bag. “You should take a shower first.”

The raven head nodded and grabbed his robe he had his manager buy a few days ago. He gave Mark one more look before leaving the room. Mark was surprised by the change Jackson was showing him. He guessed his confession brought something out of the younger. 

His heart warmed from the thought and he hoped somewhere in his heart, Jackson had the same feelings. Mark knew right now Jackson wouldn’t be in love with anyone right now. Not when his trust in people has diminished into thin air in the span of 2 weeks. Well his trust in Mark has increased by a lot in the older’s opinion. Jackson actually slept in the same bed as him, their backs basically touching.

Mark sighed, changed clothes, and prepared the wrappings for Jackson on his bed. After a few more minutes Jackson came back in the fluffy robe. Mark looked at him. "Are you ready?"

Jackson nodded slowly before walking to sit on Mark's bed. He didn't make any moves and Mark realized, Jackson was scared to show himself. Sure he saw him in the hospital but it was still uncomfortable for the younger to be seen like this. Mark smiled softly. "Jacks, I'm not judging."

Jackson looked at him with wide glassy eyes and bit his lip. Slowly he removed the robe from his shoulders and let it drop to his waist. Mark didn't comment as he saw the scars and fading bruises.

"Where do you need the bandages?"

Jackson pointed at his right bicep, left shoulder, and tailbone. Mark nodded and went straight to work. "You know you're healing pretty fast."

Jackson didn't react, looking the other way. After Mark wrapped the younger' shoulder and arm he tapped his back. Jackson understood and stood up, holding the robe from falling. 

Mark quietly started to wrap when he saw the word again.  **_Mine_ ** . It was faded but you could still read it, forever marking Jackson’s body. Mark's blood boiled but he took a deep breath. He didn't want to upset Jackson. He continued wrapping until he was done. 

"Finished. Do you need me to get your clothes?"

Jackson nodded.

"Long sleeve or short sleeve with jacket?"

Jackson held up one finger and Mark nodded. "Long sleeve it is."

He walked to their clothes and got Jackson what he wanted. The younger got dressed and they both walked out the room. The maknae line was already out of their rooms sleepily eating. When Jackson and Mark walked to the living room, they were surprised to see JYP sitting their.

The eldest male stood up upon seeing the two and smiled. "Jackson, it's good to see you looking better."

Jackson walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. JYP pat his head and the members smiled. JYP was still one of the few people he trusted when he got saved. Jackson pulled away and sat on the single couch. The other members followed suit and sat around the couch and floor, waiting for JYP to talk.

"So there's a reason why I'm here today." He looked at everyone, Jackson longer than the others. "One, Jackson, you're therapy starts on this Monday coming up."

Jackson rolled his eyes and looked away. JYP sighed before speaking again. "And two, GOT7 will continue to promote in 2 weeks."

"What?!" Everyone stared up in shock.

"You will continue as 6."

Jinyoung looked in worry. "B-But what about-"

"You'll continue as 6 until Jackson feels ready to come back." JYP gave them a sympathetic smile. "I know you guys don't want to do this but, it's better if you do. You've been hiding on hiatus for over a month and fans are wondering where you guys are. And your schedule's won't be packed. Just an event twice a week, in only Korea."

The members kept their mouths shut and looked down. JYP looked at Jackson. "And I want you to take your time. Come back when you feel comfortable."

The raven male said nothing and got up, walking to the kitchen. JYP watched and sighed. "I'll leave you guys to it. Practice will start this Wednesday coming up." When their boss left, their dorm was full of silence. 

Mark got up and walked after Jackson in the kitchen. He found him leaning his forehead against the refrigerator and suddenly the older male felt guilty. There was no one who loved GOT7 more than Jackson and now they had to continue without him. Quietly, the brunette walked to the raven and tentatively puts a hand on his shoulder. “Kaka… are you alright?”

Jackson was unresponsive until he sighed and nodded his head, facing the older. Mark gave a small smile. “Okay…”

The raven walked away and quietly went into his room. Youngjae walked into the kitchen. “Hyung, what are we gonna do?” 

Mark looked at him with a pained and lost expression. “I don’t know Jae. I don’t know…”

 

_ - _ \---

 

_ Jackson quietly ate his food while his kidnapper stared at him smiling. “You’ve behaving so well lately, Jacky~. And you look nice in your new clothes.” Jackson glanced at him before looking back to his food. The older male smiled more. “You know, it’s been 11 days since you’ve been here. We should make another video, I’m sure everyone is wondering how you’re doing.”  _

_ That made him stop eating completely. Has it really only been 11 days? It felt so much longer to Jackson.  _

_ “But I want to have some fun before I do that.” The older male said sickly sweet. _

_ Jackson’s body tensed as he looked up at his kidnapper, his eyes begging. _

_ The kidnapper sighed, shaking his head. “Oh my dear Jackson,” He gave a longing look, “Don’t you know you begging makes me want to claim you more.” _

_ The younger looked alarmed and his body moved instinctively and stood up. That made the kidnapper stand up. Jackson stopped his body from moving, not wanting to make it more worse than it was going to be. He looked small and he stared at the ground with his hands folded together in front of him. “... I-I’m not hungry anymore…” He closed his eyes, waiting for him to be hit for talking but he didn’t know what else to do to leave.  _

_ However the hit never came. He looked up and found the older male staring at him. _

_ “Okay, go back to your room. I’ll see you there.” _

_ Jackson’s hands started to shake, knowing there was no way to escape what was going to happen. Holding back his tears, he quickly walked away. How many more days will he be here? _

_ He guessed another 11-- _

 

Jackson was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his name being called. His body was shaking softly from the memory. He looked up and found Yugyeom standing in front of the door, a careful distance away. Jackson frowned. The maknae much have still be bothered by the hospital incident. 

“Hyung, dinner is ready. Do you want to eat with us or in here?”

The raven shook his head and stood up. Yugyeom smiled softly before leaving the room with Jackson tailing behind him. They walked to the dining table and Jackson took a seat next to Mark on the edge. Jinyoung and Jaebum passed out plates to everyone and they started to eat. While was Bambam talking out loud, Jackson tapped Mark’s thigh. The brunette looked at him before looking under the table. Jackson was holding his hand out. Mark looked back in shock when Jackson tapped him again. Putting his spoon in the other hand, Mark put his right hand under the table and tentatively folded his hand with Jackson’s. The raven took it a step further and webbed their fingers together. Mark could feel Jackson’s hand shaking slightly and gave it a comforting squeeze. 

The memory still had him shaken, anything with his kidnapper had him shaking. He didn’t know what else to do but seek Mark. The brunette was his sanity in the hell he was placed in. Mark’s presence was his stress reliever. Mark’s love was his life. Without Mark, he felt he wouldn’t have lasted this long.


	7. Have You Ever Thought of…?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen...
> 
> This is a long chapter and full of feels.  
> But this is a necessary chapter, in my opinion.  
> Shows the pain of both parties in the situation they were placed in.  
> every scene has the same theme if you squint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update of the day!!

_ [4 years ago] _

 

Jackson set foot into what would be his new home in Korea. The 17 year old was nervous. He was surrounded by a new strange environment and was still learning the language. He walked more into the trainee house and hesitantly called out, "Annyeonghaseyo?" 

It was silent and Jackson assumed no one was home. Quietly he walked through the house and to the room the manager said would be his.  _ Door closest to the living room… _ Jackson opened the door and was surprised to see someone already in the room. The stranger looked up when Jackson opened the door and wore a surprised look. The stranger had deep red hair and round eyes, making Jackson blink at him. The stranger pulled his headphones out and eyed Jackson. “Who are you?” He spoke in English before he even realized it. “Ah sorry, I meant who are you?” He corrected himself in korean.

Jackson gave a relieved sigh, thankful someone spoke a language he understood. “I’m Jackson, your new roommate.” He spoke back in perfect english.

“Oh you speak english!” The stranger sat up and smiled switching to his native language, “I forgot manager hyung said the new guy was coming. I’m Mark by the way. You can bring your things in.”

The younger male pulled his suitcases inside the room and put it to the side. He looked around, not really sure of what to do. Mark chuckled and pointed at the empty bed across from his. “You can sit on  _ your _ bed if you want.”

“Oh, right!” Jackson took a seat and faced Mark. “So… how old are you? Where’re you from?”

“I’m 17 turning 18. And I’m from LA but I’m Taiwanese. And you?”

“17. I’m from Hong Kong.”

“Ah another Chinese! Have you met the other trainees?”

“No, I just got here.”

“Ah well it’s nice meeting you.” Mark smiled at the younger.

Jackson returned the smile, “Likewise!”

_ This was the beginning of their beautiful friendship, a pure flower bud.  _

_ That would bloom into love, a flower so vibrant people couldn't turn away. _

_ But who knew it would wither away and die, from pain both have suffered. One trying to hold on, and one ready to let go. _

 

\---

 

_ [Day 12 Kidnapped] _

 

It's been 12 days since Jackson was kidnapped and the group was getting anxious, wondering how Jackson was. Not knowing if he was okay- it ate them alive. They were in the living room sitting around not doing anything. They had just came back from talking to JYP. The police had contacted them, saying they were close in figuring out Jackson’s location. It made the members keep what little hope they had left.

“Do… do you think they’ll find him?” Youngjae asked.

“They have to.” Jinyoung said with conviction. “There is no GOT7 without him.”

“You’re right,” Jaebum leaned his head on his lover’s shoulder, “We have to keep up the faith. We’ll see him again.”

Just then a ring arose in the room. Bambam went into his pocket and pulled out his phone. “It’s manager hyung.” He answered it and put it on speaker. “Yoboseyo?”

**“Go to the online news.”**

The group looked confused. Bambam pulled the phone closer, “Why?”

**“Just do it…”** he hung up the phone.

Still confused Jaebum walked to their computer and went to the news. He gasped. The group instantly got up and rushed to the computer. “What is it?” Jinyoung kneeled next to Jaebum, Mark copying and everyone behind. There in bold was the headline that made Jaebum speechless.

 

**New Video of GOT7’s Wang Jackson Posted Today**

 

“A new video has arised and has taken the country by storm. This morning a video of GOT7 member Wang Jackson was posted online.” Jaebum reads the article attached to the video. “Fans and celebrities alike are in disarray from the video. You must watch it yourself to understand…”  Jaebum looked at the group. “Do… do you want to watch it?”

The others stayed quiet, not sure themselves. Jinyoung furrowed his brows and grabbed the mouse. The others said nothing as he clicked the video to play. And they watched with heavy, broken hearts at the sight they witnessed.

 

_ The video started black until a light flashed down on the raven on the chair just like last time. Except this time Jackson was sitting quietly in the chair, not chained. His arms were bruised and burned, his neck had a dark handprint on it, his face had cuts and bruises too, and his eyes were dead. He was looking to the side of the camera quietly. _

_ His kidnapper walks in confidently from where Jackson was looking. He faced the camera before turning to the raven. "Ah Jackson, you're so quiet today! Finally learned your lesson I see." Jackson only nods. “Good boy,” The man grabs the other’s face so they looked each other in the eye, lips only centimeters apart. "Who do you belong to?" He asked huskily. _

_ Jackson looked hesitant and the kidnapper smiled softy. "You may speak."  _

_ "...You..."  _

_ Kidnapper brushed their lips together before he lets the idol go and grins at the camera. "See everyone, Jackson belongs to me now! And I don't think you'll be seeing him again for a while." The man looks at Jackson sweetly.  _

_ "Say bye to the camera Jacky~!" Jackson looks away to the side, silent.  _

_ " _ **_Jackson._ ** _ " _

_ Jackson visibly flinched, "... Bye." His voice cracked with sadness as his shoulders shook.  _

_ The man smirked at the camera. "Bye~" He walked to the camera and it went black. _

 

The living room remained silent. 

Yugyeom was the first to speak, his voice cracking as he tried to hold his tears but failing horribly. “He broke Jackson.” Bambam pulled him into a hug, his lips trembling.

“I- I need to be alone.” Youngjae spoke in a rushed as he walked away to his room.

Jaebum watched in worry at the blonde’s retreat. Jinyoung gave a shaky sigh and hid his face in his lover’s shoulder, “Let him be babe…” The leader wrapped his arm around the younger before looking at his main concern. “...Mark?”

The brunette didn’t say anything. He stared blankly at the screen unable to digest what he saw. Jackson, broken? Impossible. Those words never form into a sentence. That was nonexistent. Impossible.

…  Impossible .

…  Im possible.

Possible.

Mark’s eyes flutter as a sudden rush of tears poured from his eyes. He tried to get up but failed and fell back down. “Mark?” Jaebum called in worry.

The older’s legs were shaking too much and all noise left him. He gasped as he felt sobs erupted from his body, falling to his hands and knees. Jinyoung and Jaebum rushed to his side. The younger called in surprise. “Mark?! Mark!”

“He’s hyperventilating. Mark, Mark you have to calm down-”

“Calm down- Calm Down?!” Mark looked at the two with a look the group’s never seen. “How the FUCK am I going to calm down?! He!- Jackson!- He’s-” He couldn’t get a single thought out as he gasped for air. The maknae line watched in fear for their oldest struggling to get a grip of himself. Youngjae walked out of his room to see what was going on and stared in shock at Mark.

Jinyoung pulled him into a hug and cradled his face. Mark sat there limp in Jinyoung's arms, crying his heart out. His distress broke everyone's heart, knowing how much he was hurting. This feeling, the loneliness and pain, it was something Mark never felt before. Not when he first came to Korea to be a trainee, not when he missed his family. Jackson made feelings he never experience come to surface. Jackson was his life and without him, Mark felt like dying.

 

\---

 

_ [Present day] _

 

Jackson was sitting in the group’s van while their manager drove him to the hospital. For the dreading therapy that his doctor insisted he'd take. The raven head couldn’t understand what therapy was going to do. He wasn’t going to talk to anyone anyways. It was just going to be an hour of beating a dead horse.

His heart sank as the van pulled up to the building. His manager parked the van but made no move to get out. He turned to Jackson and gave a bitter smile. “I know you don’t want to be here,” Jackson only stared at him, “And you’re here because of me… I’m sorry Jackson…”

Jackson suddenly remember Mark saying his manager was feeling down about the whole situation and felt his heart tug. Shaking his head he put his hand of his manager’s shoulder. The older male looked at him in doubt. “Are you sure…?” When he saw the raven nod he sighed. “Okay.”

It took 15 minutes to find the department for therapy and get Jackson checked in. When they called him in, his manager gave a small smile. “I’ll be here when you’re done.”

The room Jackson was sent to was painted in different shades of brown with 3 black couches and a coffee table in the middle. There was also a desk to the side with papers and books on it. Jackson sat down on one of the couches, waiting for his therapist to come. 

After a few minutes the door opened and a grown man walked inside. Jackson, non trusting of people, ESPECIALLY men, glared at him and his body tensed. The man seemed to notice this and gave a soft smile. "Hello Jackson. I'm Mr. Lee, your therapist."

He walked over to his seat across from Jackson. "I'm not here to hurt you, only to help you. Is that alright?"

Jackson said nothing and looked at him warily before giving a hesitant nod. Mr. Lee smiled and pulled out his clip board. "I read over your file and I must say, I'm sorry for what's happened to you. I'm aware that you're not speaking as of recent, is that correct?"

The raven nodded.

"Okay... Well since today is only a 10 minute session, I'm going to asked some questions, just nod or shake your head to answer." He flipped a page and grabbed his pen. "Are you ready?"

Jackson made a soft noise and the therapist nodded.

"You've been living back at your dorm correct?"

Nod.

"Your injuries are recovering?"

Nod.

"You have a fear to talk and be touched?"

Hesitant nod.

"You have dreams and flashbacks of what happened?"

Nod.

"Have you found something to have as a security blanket?"

Hesitant nod.

"Good good. Have you felt emotionally different than usual after this,  _ experience _ ?"

Jackson gave a confused look.

The therapist noticed this and hesitated before asking, "Are you okay?"

Jackson stayed silent and unmoving. Was he okay? What kind of question is that? Were people thinking he's getting over this already? 

No. 

He isn't. So why is this person asking him if he's okay?

Jackson shook his head softly.

The man hummed before looking Jackson straight in the eye. His next question surprised Jackson.

And it brought an unwanted memory.

 

\---

 

The GOT7 members came home from the company after a long practice. They decided to just start practicing the same day as Jackson went to therapy. The raven should already be home so they were half excited and half nervous to see how it went for him. They walked inside the dorm and all the lights were turned off, which confused them. 

Was Jackson not home?

They walked further into the dorm and with a sinking feeling Jaebum looked at everyone. "Check each room."

The group split up. Yugyeom and Bambam check theirs and Jinyoung's room, Youngjae checked the kitchen and living room, Jaebum and Jinyoung checked Mark's room, and Mark went to the bathroom.

The brunette opened the bathroom door and instantly heard whimpers. Quickly he turned on the lights and gasped at the sight in front of him.

In the corner of the bathroom, in between the wall and toilet, was a tear stricken Jackson.

His knees were pressed against his chest, hands holding either side of his head, and his pupils were dilated as tears fell in thick drops and he rocked himself. "J-Jackson?!" Mark hastily went to Jackson's side.

Mark held the younger's face in between his hands and realized Jackson was shaking, shaking  _ too _ much to be normal. "Guys- guys please help!!" He yelled out. Within seconds Jaebum was by his side and everyone crowded the bathroom. "We need to get him to the hospital. Jinyoung call-"

He was interrupted as Jackson cried out louder and gripped his head harder. Jinyoung got up and pulled his phone out to call an ambulance with shaky hands. 

"Jackson, Jackson!!" Mark cried in worry. The brunette's cry went unheard as Jackson didn't even spare him a glance. He was so out it, completely unaware of his surroundings.

The question kept repeating in his head.

_ Have you ever thought of suicide? _

That question brought up a memory that Jackson suppressed in his mind when he was rescued. His unconscious locked it up and threw away the key. The memory was unnecessary after he returned home to his family. But that question, that fucking question broke the lock and he tried,  _ tried so hard _ to keep it away but it muddled into his brain, flashing before his eyes.

 

_ Jackson stayed still on the fluffy bed his kidnapper "so kindly" gave him as the grown man zipped his pants. "You get better and better the more this happens Jacky." _

_ The raven stayed unfazed and stared up at the ceiling. He didn't react as the man put underwear and pants on him. "I'll be outside. Food will be out in a while." _

_ Nodding Jackson closed his eyes and let darkness engulf him. He enjoyed somewhat of peace when suddenly he heard a huge bang and voices outside his room. He sat up instantly and grabbed his shirt, putting it on quickly. He was about to get up when his door was busted open. _

_ 5 men dressed in police uniforms walked into the room with their guns up. The moment they saw the raven they lowered them. _

_ "Wang Jackson?" One of the police officers asked. _

_ The raven nodded.  _

_ "We're taking you home." _

_ That sentence was probably the best thing that has ever happened to him. And he was unable to hold his cries as he sobbed loudly. The police officer smiled softly and grabbed Jackson into his embrace. "Let's get you home." _

_ They walked out the room and Jackson found his kidnapper and goons on the floor in handcuffs. His kidnapper looked up and locked eyes with him. The man gave an evil smirk.  _

_ "Just because you're rescued doesn't mean you've escaped me. You can't get rid of me that easy Jacky. I OWN YOU. I marked you! " _

_ The policed roughly lifted him and started to drag him away. The man laughed crazily and stared at Jackson in amusement. _

_ "You'll never be able to live this down. Everyone will remember you by this!! And you'll forever remember me! When you look at yourself in the mirror, you'll only see all the things I've done to you. The only way to escape this is if you just  _ **_kill yourself_ ** _ Jacky." _

_ Jackson shook in fear as the police pushed the man into the truck. The police officer who was holding the raven rubbed his back soothingly. "Don't listen to him Jackson." _

 

But Jackson did listen to him. Because he was right. This was going to be his legacy and torture for the rest of his life. He couldn't go back to GOT7 and act as if this never happened. People and fans thrive off of personal information. In every interview he's certain they would hint at the incident, wanting some reaction out of him. 

He can't ever live this down and move on. Not when the memories are his cinemas in sleep. Not when he is marked as someone's on his tailbone for life. Not when that man's voice whispers in his ear at any moment. Not when the scars and faded bruises become a constant reminder of what is.

He is broken.  _ Broken _ and  _ disgusting _ and  _ filthy _ .

**_And he should just die._ **


	8. You Shouldn’t Love Me...

People pacing and feet tapping could be seen and heard in the hospital waiting room. GOT7 along with their manager and JYP were waiting restlessly for the doctor to come out of the emergency room. 

"How could this have happened?" Yugyeom rubbed his hair in frustration, "He was getting better!"

Nobody said anything. Just then the doctor walked out and everyone looked up in worry. 

JYP walked to the doctor, "How is he?"

"He's stable- for now." The doctor sighed. "From what you guys described it seems he had a memory relapse. Something must have trigger it."

Mark furrowed his brows as he spoke up. "He was perfectly fine until he went to therapy." The brunette stood up and glared at the doctor, not caring about respect. "What the hell did you sign him up for?!"

The group members looked nervous as Jaebum grabbed Mark, pushing him back to his seat. The doctor said nothing and looked at JYP. "One of the therapist's questions could have done it. The first session is a questionnaire and always has three standard questions."

JYP looked hesitant as he asked, "Which are?"

"How they are feeling. What are their triggers. And if they have ever thought of suicide."

"Why would you ask them that?!" Jinyoung couldn't hold his tongue.

The doctor frowned. "We need to know these things first hand so we know how to handle him or prevent other things to happen- things like this. 80% of the patients have no reaction to the questions unless they are a special case like Jackson. Something happened to him that somehow connect to what the therapist asked."

"So what do we do?" The manager asked. 

"For now we take Jackson off therapy and get him out of this state he's in. He will be hospitalized for 2 days ..."

"Okay." JYP sighed. "Can we see him now?"

"Only two people for now. He's delicate at the moment."

The CEO nodded. "Okay, Mark come on."

The brunette got up from his seat and followed his boss, not giving a glance to the doctor.

 

When they entered the room, Jackson was laying down staring at the ceiling blankly. Even when they closed the door he made no reaction. “Kaka…” Mark called out softly as he walked up to the bed. JYP stayed at the door, watching the scene before him.

Jackson turned away from Mark to the farthest side of the bed. The brunette felt his heart clench seeing Jackson distance himself again. But Mark wasn't going to allow that. He wanted Jackson to keep opening up to him. So, with a determined heart, the Taiwanese got into the bed with Jackson. Jackson's eyes widened and wavered and he turned around to face the brunette. Mark pulled him closer, wrapping an arm around his waist. He was close to the raven's ear when he whispered softly, "Kaka, I'm here now, you’re safe..."

JYP watched in amazement as Jackson went from blankly distant to presence hungry as he curled more into Mark and cried. He clutched the older and the latter only pet his head and let him cry. The CEO quietly let himself out and gave the boys some privacy. After a few minutes, Jackson finally calmed down. It was mostly quiet, save for Jackson's sniffles.

Jackson bit his lip and mumbled out, "Mark..."

Mark internally was surprised the raven was talking but he kept it in, outwardly seeming unaffected. "Shh..."

And Jackson listened for a second before whispering softly. So soft he was sure Mark didn't hear him, but he did.  
  


"You shouldn't love me...."

 

\---

 

Visiting hours were over and the group was forced to leave the raven in the room. JYP said that Mark could stay with him the next night but to give Jackson space for now. So Jackson was left alone in his dark room. He was curled into a ball, his blankets covering him up to his chin as he stared blankly at the bathroom door. Many thoughts were running through his mind at once.

 

_ Was he right?  _

_ Should I do it?  _

_ But there's nothing to do that with in here... _

_ Should I wait until I go back home....? _

 

Haunting thoughts spread in his mind but there was something gnawing at the back telling him 'No.' Something kept saying 'Kaka please don't.' He soon realized it was Mark's voice. Jackson felt his heart become torn. 

He wanted to just end everything and completely escape this living hell. But his heart wavered because of Mark. Mark loved him, and he him but he just didn't know if he could keep this going. Tears fell down his eyes. He didn't understand the brunette. Why would he love him after what happened to him. He felt that Mark could do better, and that hurt because he wanted to be selfish for Mark's love after loving him for 3 long years. He loved Mark, he really fucking did. So much he thought Mark was his one and only in eternity- his soulmate. But he didn't deserve him anymore. He was tainted. And he would taint Mark soon enough. 

He fluttered his eyes at the ceiling to stop the tears. He just felt tired of everything. So so tired. He stared at the IV's in his arm and suddenly he felt anger in his heart. He was angry and frustrated. Why did this have to happen to him? What did he do to deserve this shit?! Why was he suffering this much when all he did was give and love others? Did his friendliness make people delusional? Should he  _ not _ be nice anymore? 

Questions kept voicing in his head as he stared at the ceiling. He huffed and closed his eyes. He just didn’t want to think anymore.

 

\---

 

Mark sat on his bed staring blankly at nothing particularly. He was trying to get the images of Jackson in the bathroom out of his head but it just wouldn’t leave. The brunette just couldn’t understand what happened for Jackson to revert like he did. Of course he knew Jackson wasn’t fully recovered- it’s only been a little over a week since he came home. He looked at the calendar next to the door. It had a lot of markings on it. Mostly from Mark counting the days Jackson was gone. 

He felt sad thinking about it again. He looked away but whipped back when he saw the date. 

_ March 18th _ .

Mark’s eyes widened. Jackson’s birthday was in a week. “Shit… What are we going to do…”

 

\---

 

The rest of GOT7 was in the living room sitting in silence. Youngjae groaned out and sprawled out on the floor. “I can’t believe this is happening…”

Bambam nodded silently as he rested his head on Yugyeom’s shoulder. “I feel so bad… and there’s nothing we can do.”

“Yes there is,” Jinyoung leaned forward from his position in between Jaebum’s legs, “We just have to be with him and give him as much love as he needs. He needs support right now.”

“But what if that isn’t enough?” The maknae asked. “This is more then ‘brush it off and go on with life’ hyung...”

Jaebum sighed and closed his eyes. He didn’t know what to say. He was just emotionally tired to say anything. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster for the past 3 weeks. He was tired of being the strong one and just let the members talk amongst themselves. Youngjae looked at him. “Jaebum hyung, what do you think?”

The leader opened his tired eyes and shrugged. “I don’t know Jae… I don’t know anymore.” Jinyoung frowned as cradled one side of his lover’s cheek, who leaned into the touch. Youngjae gave a thoughtful look. “I want to do something for him though. I mean his birthday is around the corner. We can’t just act like it’s nothing. It could be the day that makes him happy again.”

“Maybe… we should ask Mark hyung first.” Bambam spoke. “He knows Jackson hyung best.”

Jinyoung was silent before speaking softly. “This must be really hard on him.”

The other’s nodded their heads in agreement. 

“They love each other.” Jaebum stated. “Of course this is damaging to them.”

“Hyung went through something horrific and Mark hyung had to wait helplessly for it to end. And now Jackson has to recover from it while Mark tries to help but there’s only so much a person can do for someone...” Yugyeom sighed, “It’s twisted really.”

Jinyoung leaned back unto Jaebum again and laced their hands. “They’ve been beating around the bush forever. I hope after all this ends they can be together.”

“We all do hyung.” Bambam murmured. Sensing the Thai idol’s mood, the maknae pet his head. “Bam you want ice cream?”

The older male nodded silently and Yugyeom got up without a word to the kitchen.

“I swear you have Giant Baby wrapped around your finger Bam.” Youngjae scoffed, Jinyoung and Jaebum following. The younger idol blushed and looked away. “Shut up…”

Youngjae sighed. “I don’t know why you guys won’t date already. Seriously, everyone knows I’m surrounded by couples.” 

“Sorry Jae.” Jinyoung gave an apologetic smile.

The blonde waved his hand dismissively. “It’s not even a big deal. I’m happy for all of you. Even though 4 of you guys aren’t official…” Youngjae stared at Bambam. The Thai idol grimaced before mumbling. “I’m working on it…”

Before the others could tease him more, Yugyeom came back with a bowl. He handed it to Bambam with a smile. Bambam smiled shyly in thanks as he grabbed the bowl, his hyungs cooing in the background.

“You guys are so annoying!!”

The others laughed, letting go of their worries and stress.

Even if it was for a little while.


	9. I Love You But You Have To Give Me Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double Update~! Next one in 5-7 minutes

The morning sun shined through the blinds of the white hospital room. The nurse finished checking the raven’s status before he smiled at the patient and walked out. Jackson silently watched him leave and sighed once the sore closed, leaving him alone. It was only 9am in the morning and he really had nothing to do with himself. GOT7 had activities today so Mark couldn't come until later in the day. He looked at the table next to his bed and reached out. 

He grabbed the phone his manager had gave him earlier in the day yesterday. All of his contacts were in his new phone but all of his pictures were gone. Not that it really bothered him. It reminded him of a person he felt he couldn't be and a past he sadly couldn't connect to anymore. Without thinking much he clicked the YouTube app and searched GOT7. A list of their music videos came up and he clicked on their debut song.

He silently watched himself and his friends and ended up watching all the other too, even Markson videos. Seeing them and thinking of their memories made his heart heavy. Why couldn't they go back to those days? Of being happy to be idols and loving their job? He scrolled down on the ‘Stop Stop It’ music video and saw someone’s comment.

 

**“T^T Crying watching this now, I really miss Jackson. I hope he's doing okay”**

 

He saw how the comment gained over a thousand likes and replies.

 

**“Same.”**

**“I hope he knows his fans are with him and waiting for him to come back”**

**“Jackson we still love you! Please get well soon~”**

**“Jackson Fighting! GOT7 fighting! ❤️”**

**“I hope Mark is taking good care of you Jackson. Markson forever right?!”**

 

Surprised by the comments Jackson searched his name on Naver and many articles popped up. Some about his kidnapping and recovery but one caught his attention. He clicked the link and suddenly he saw how it was a bunch of celebrities writing tweets and instagram posts to him. Some he wasn't even close too sent him tweets.

 

**“Jackson. I wish you the best. I hope you're able to overcome this.”**

**“Fighting Wang Jackson! You can pull through.”**

**“You’re a strong person Jackson, you're a light and I hope you shine again.”**

**“I'm sorry this happened to you but I'm happy you're back safe. Keep pushing!”**

 

There were also pictures of him by himself or others he knows. All with positive messages.

Jackson swallowed the lump in his throat looking at the comments. All of his fans and friends were cheering and waiting for him. But he didn't think he would be back anytime soon. He wasn't ready to go back. Hell he wasn't even ready to touch his own members, except Mark (but Mark will always be an exception). It wasn't comfortable for him yet. And being an idol right now didn't sound too appealing. That's what got him in this fucked up situation in the first place.

An obsessed fan.

And he still had this feeling of wanting to end everything now and just die. Whether he would carry that out is another story. Because he knew he still had people who loved him and wanted him to be happy again. But he didn't think that would happen quick enough for his sanity. Because his mind is in constant turmoil and he wanted it to stop. These 3 weeks have felt like years- no eternity.

He locked his phone and closed his eyes. He hoped his dreams would let him escape, even for a moment.

 

\---

 

Mark was antsy and he knew he wouldn't stop feeling that way until Jackson was less than a foot away from him.

He was busy with schedules all day. Just some live performances and an interview. Thankfully the interviewers didn't ask too many personal questions. They only asked if Jackson was doing fine and nothing more, which was greatly appreciated.

Then Yugyeom and Bambam were being super affection for some reason- it was a little noticeable in the interview with Bambam grabbing Yugyeom’s hand with any excuse or partnering in the games. And Youngjae just sighed on the sideline as he watched Jaebum scold the two after in the van.

Another thing was Jaebum and Jinyoung’s 3rd year anniversary was coming up in 2 weeks and they were being extra lovey dovey to each other and since it was that time of year the others knew it would be time to wear ear plugs soon.

So basically,

Mark has had love slapped in his face  _ all fucking _ day. And it made him jealous and envious. Because he was like that a while ago. It may have not been  _ official _ love but damn even Mark could admit him and Jackson acted like a couple way more often than not. And it was horrible not having Jackson with them. It became GOT6 and that was shit to Mark.

So once all his activities were finished, he instantly begged his manager to take him to the hospital. He just had to see the raven, even if it was for only an hour. Their manager complied and within 15 minutes Mark was in front of Jackson’s door.

He quickly opened the door and music was the first thing to hit his ears. Jackson was laying on his bed and music was playing from his phone as he lip sung the words. “Kaka.” 

The raven looked up and his eyes flicked for a moment with what Mark hoped was happiness. The brunette walked fully into the room and closed the door. He walked over to the other, “What are you doing?”

Jackson shrugged and Mark smiled. “You mind moving over?” The younger male moved without a second thought and Mark laid down next to him. They turned and faced each other while in silence, the music being the only noise. Mark noticed how the atmosphere was peaceful yet, held a gloominess to it. He gently caressed Jackson’s face. “Why are you playing such sad songs?” He asked rhetorically.

“Because I am.”

Mark eyes widened at the throaty response. He didn't think Jackson would answer him and his voice was different due to lack of use. Jackson moved his face into the pillow and didn't say anything else. Mark had a feeling that was going to be his only words for the day. He pet the short raven hair, “It’s okay to be sad. You’ll find peace soon.”

“I don't think so.”

Okay, Mark was officially shocked. Where did this sudden urge to talk come from, though it wasn't hated at all. Even Jackson didn't know exactly what came over him. But seeing his old videos and how happy Mark was and seeing him now upset just made Jackson want to go back, to give Mark a moment of happiness. So he talked. 

“I don't think I’ll ever find peace Mark….”

“Hey,” Mark grabbed his face so they looked each other in the eye, “You're going to get through this. You have your friends, your family. You have me. I won't  _ ever _ leave your side and you already know why.”

_ Because I love you _ .

There was suddenly a heavy feeling in Jackson’s heart and it made his body go inflame. He couldn’t contain himself anymore and his next action surprised both of them.

He grabbed Mark’s collar and pulled him close, crashing their lips together. Mark made a noise but Jackson wouldn't let go and climbed on top of him kissing him only more passionately.

He just had this strong urge. He wanted to go back.

Back to being in Mark’s arms. Back to being innocent and waiting for his moment with the other. He didn't want to be tainted by that man. He wanted to be tainted by Mark.

By Mark’s lips, by Mark’s love, by Mark's body. 

Only Mark. Nothing else.

He wanted Mark to erase all the memories, all the pain, and fill it with his love, with his everything like he promised. He wants to feel Mark's love. So he kissed him like there was no tomorrow. A deep, teeth clashing open kiss that left them both breathless. Jackson pulled away and they both were gasping for air.

Mark was panting as he stared at Jackson in bewilderment. “J-Jackson-”

“I love you, Mark. But you have to give me time.” 

“W-wha?-”

Jackson got off of him and turned away.

He left Mark to sit there and register what happened. Both feeling jittery and slamming hearts.

 

\---

 

Mark didn't stay the night at the hospital. He needed the night away from Jackson to collect this thoughts and feelings. It was always his dream to kiss Jackson, kiss him with all the love he could. But he didn't think it would happen today, and like that, with these situations. And what Jackson said after is on replay in his mind and he felt like his heart was about to burst.

_ I love you, Mark. But you have to give me time. _

He couldn't believe Jackson felt the same. He couldn't believe Jackson actually kissed him. Maybe this is what Jaebum meant when he said he wasn't surprised Jackson got close to Mark during this time. That meant that the other members were aware of their mutual feelings.

Well shit. They should have helped them get together earlier then. 

He walked inside the dorm and everyone was in the living room watching Weekly Idol. Jinyoung was the first to see the brunette. “Hey Mark.”

“Ah hyung we’re watching our episode.” Bambam called in between Yugyeom’s legs ( _ okay something’s definitely going on between them _ Mark thought). Mark walked into the room and sat down next to Youngjae. “Our latest one?”

“Yeah, I must say Jackson was being such an idiot.” 

Mark watched with a fond smile. He felt a longing looking at the Jackson he knew only 3 weeks ago. His mind went back to the hospital and felt it wonder. Youngjae seemed to notice this, “Hyung are you alright? You seem like you're out of it.”

Everyone stopped and looked at Mark. He blinked his thoughts away.

“Ah… I'm okay.”

“You're lying.” Jaebum said easily. “What's wrong?”

“There's nothing wrong.” Mark said quickly. He stopped and hesitated to say what happened. “It's just…”

Jinyoung leaned forward and pressed on. “Just what?"

“Something happened while I was at the hospital and I'm just thinking about it all.”

“Did something happen to Jackson hyung?”

“No Yugyeom. It's more what he did instead…”

The group looked at him expectantly and he felt his face heat up as he muttered quietly. “He kissed me and said he loved me…”

Silence swept the room.

And that silence was broken in 1.2 seconds because everyone’s eyes widened and they all screamed the same thing.

“ **_WHAT?!_ ** ”

Mark looked down blushing hard on his ears.

“Y-You’re serious?!” Bambam was in front of him looking as surprised as everyone else.

“I wouldn’t lie about something like this Bam!”

“Oh my god- all the ships happened!”

Mark looked at Youngjae confused, “What are you talking about?”

“All my GOT7 ships have finally happened!” Youngjae pointed at the others, “JJP, and as of yesterday Yugbam- yes I looked at the ship names from the fans- and now Markson!”

“Okay this explains why these two,” Mark pointed at the two blushing maknaes, “were acting like a greasy newly wed couple today. But me and Jackson aren’t together.”

“Well I wouldn’t expect you guys to be. But you guys finally confessed to each other! I can finally rest in peace!”

Jinyoung chuckled and shook his head. “I think your fanboying is raging too much Jae.” He turned to Mark and smiled. “But I’m glad for you too. You both need the support and love.”

The others mirrored him and nodded. Mark felt his heart warm up. He suddenly had a feeling that maybe things could turn for the better.

He just hoped Jackson felt the same.


	10. A Great Week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update of the day!

_ March 20th, 2015  _

 

Jackson was discharged today and it was exactly eight days before his birthday. The group was in the midst of planning how to make his birthday the best one he could have. Their CEO heard of this and decided to give them a week off to do what they needed. 

And they got to work.

Mark had called Jackson’s parents and friends. The maknae line made a list for decorations and food, and were quick to have everything ready. And Jinyoung and Jaebum were ready to get all birthday tweets and Instagram posts compiled into a collage. Everything was done in secrecy. They refused to let Jackson have a single idea of what's going on.

Other than planning, the group just enjoyed each other’s company. Jackson surprisingly with them. When he came home the members greeted him with smiles and let him do as he pleased. 

He seemed to appreciate that as he actually reframed from staying in his room all day. He lounged around with them, even sitting on the same couch with them, but only if Mark was next to him.

It made the rest of the members exceptionally happy as well. He was slowly getting used to being around people and it was an important piece of Jackson’s old self. Even though he wasn't as comfortable with the members, it was enough for them that he was close to someone.

It felt like it was going to be a good week.

 

\---

 

_ March 24th, 2015 _

 

It was a few days later that things changed. 

The group was sitting in the living room watching Inkigayo when their manager and JYP came inside. “Boys, we have something to tell you.” 

Jaebum turned off the TV, “What’s wrong?”

Their manager looked at their CEO before speaking, “It's about Jackson’s kidnapper.” The air turned thick and Mark felt Jackson stiffen next to him. He grabbed his hand and let the younger squeeze it for dear life. JYP noticed this and added, “We didn't want to tell you anything until we got the official ruling.” 

“His trial passed already?”

Their manager pulled up an article and faced the phone to everyone. “It was today actually. They wanted Jackson to testify but we strongly opposed that. We just thought it was best to not tell you about it, didn’t want to stress you out..”

“What did they say?”

JYP paused before a smile fell on his face, “He won't see the light of day for the rest of his life.” 

The group gasped and Youngjae asked with a shaky voice, “Y-You mean-”

“Prison for life. No bail.”

There was a mix of reactions in the room. Jinyoung and Jaebum both sighed while the maknae line cheered happily, JYP and their manager smiled, and Mark felt a weight off his shoulders. He turned to Jackson when he looked at the said person.

His face was void of any emotion. Almost like he couldn't believe what was happening. “Kaka…”

The raven looked at him with wide shaking eyes and Mark only smiled with a nod. Jackson took a shaky breath before tears fell heavily. The rest of the members stopped and looked at him with soft smiles. Mark pulled the shaking male into his arms and softly spoke in Chinese, “It’s over Kaka…”

The raven buried his face into the older’s neck and whispered, “Thank god.

The worst has finally passed.

 

\---

_ March 27th, 2015 _

 

Jackson was laying in bed with Mark next to him. The brunette was running a hand through the raven hair while music was playing softly. Jackson had his eyes closed but he was softly humming along to the music. The two were sitting like this all evening when Mark dragged Jackson to their room earlier (it was really so the others could get the living room ready for tomorrow). 

It’s been three days since they found out about ruling and the mood around the dorm has been so much brighter. There was a visible change with how the members acted, even Jackson. He was still mute, but there was an aura around him, an aura the members knew and missed. Mark looked at the other, “How are you feeling?” 

Jackson opened his eyes and bit his lip. Mark only smiled and pet him some more.

“...I feel light.”

Inside the older male cheered that the other talked, even if his voice is rough, “Light?”

Jackson nodded giving a thoughtful look, “...Happy?”

“Anything else?”

“Better. Just better.”

Mark stopped petting him and looked him in the eye, “Will you be able to move on?”

Jackson went quiet. He didn’t say anything before he shrugged, “I don't know… I don't know yet...”

The brunette went back to petting the other, “That's okay. Take your time Kaka…”

The raven nodded. Mark stared at him for a second before adding absentmindedly, “Your cuts and bruises almost healed.” He softly ran a hand across the younger’s neck and Jackson closed his eyes again. “Thank goodness...” Jackson said nothing and hummed softly to Mark’s touch.

Mark let his mind run. Everything was going great this week, but he couldn’t let himself get sad. He shook his head of his doubts and tried to be optimistic for the day after.

 

\---

 

_ March 28th, 2015 _

 

Jackson was awaken by a soft tap on the shoulder. He opened his eyes and saw a fully dressed Mark smiling at him. “Wake up Kaka.”

The younger sat up and stare at him, pouting slightly. It was too early in Jackson’s opinion to get up. Mark realized what he was thinking an chuckled. “Jacks you gotta get up, it’s almost 12.”

The raven looked reluctant but he still got out of bed. Mark opened their closet, “What do you want to wear?” 

Jackson walked behind the older and looked into his wardrobe. He grabbed a random short sleeve and a pair skinny jeans, and his black Wang hat before going to the bed. He dropped his clothes and pulled his shirt over his head. Mark watched as the raven’s strong bareback came into view, along with his toned stomach. The bruises healed well, there’s a few more that need healing but it shouldn’t take long. The scar that spelled out  _ Mine _ was still there, but much less prominent than before.

The brunette continued to watch the other, just admiring him. Jackson slowly started to look like himself again. His eyes seemed brighter and he seemed to almost glow. When Jackson turned to him with a confused looked, Mark only smiled and walked over. He fixed the younger’s shirt before giving him a once over. “Hey Kaka…”

The raven looked at him with his big eyes and Mark couldn’t help himself. He swooped in, quickly pecking the other’s cheek before pulling away. Jackson’s eyes were wide but he made no move against the brunette. Mark smiled and grabbed Jackson’s hands, “Let’s go to the living room, yeah?”

“Ok…”

The older male grinned, which made the younger suspicious, and pulled him out the room. When they were about to enter the living room, the older turned to the younger and covered his eyes.

“Mark-”

“Shhh, just trust me.”

Jackson relaxed in his hold and let him walk him into the living room blindly. “Are you ready?”

Jackson didn’t know to be ready for but he nodded his head anyway. “Okay.” he heard Mark murmur before hands were removed and he opened his eyes. And his heart broke, but in the best way.

Everywhere there were balloons and streamers, some hanging on the ceiling or lining the floor. Above their TV was a huge ‘Happy Birthday Jackson. 852 Pride!!!’ banner and equally huge picture of him smiling back in ‘A’ Era. On another wall there was a huge board that had birthday wishes from Twitter and Instagram, every wish in a different language from fans everywhere. There was a cake on the coffee table that had Cantonese written on it. He just noticed the music playing, a chinese singer he was a big fan of when he was younger and fencing. The part that left his heart beating was that everyone was there.

His members, his parents, his manager, his CEO, and a few of his idol friends (Bangtan and members from ASC came). “Surprise!!!!”

He blinked at everyone wide eyed. The raven looked at the brunette in question. The older grinned, grabbing his hand, “Happy Birthday Kaka!” Jackson just stared at him owlishly. He completely forgot his birthday was today. He looked at everyone and opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it. He looked back at Mark, who in turn said, “Jackson says thank you.” 

“Well come on, we have to celebrate~” Yugyeom called out next to Jungkook.

“Yeah don’t just stand there, Jackson-ah!” Namjoon teased which made Jackson roll his eyes at his friend.

Mark pulled him more into the living room and the next few hours were spent celebrating. Jackson stayed next to his parents and enjoyed their presence while everyone else took part in games. Bangtan spiced up the night with their loud personalities, GOT7 easily flowing into that. The cake was lit and everyone sang happy birthday. Once he blew out the candles everyone clapped. Mark stood from his spot next to Jackson and the group faced him. They had papers in their hands. “We all have something we want to say so listen.” When Jackson said nothing but nodded the members got ready.

Bambam held the paper in his hand up before speaking, 

“Hyung! Today is your birthday! And it marks the 4th birthday we celebrated with you, 2nd since debut. A lot of things have happened along that time and many memories. And a lot of hardships have come our way. But we were able to overcome them. Me, Gyeomie, and Youngjae only have one thing to say.  _ Thank you _ . Thank you for being in our lives and thank you for making it brighter. Thank you for being an awesome hyung and gave us advice when we needed it. Thank you for always being the mood maker when everyone was down. Thank you….” 

Bambam stopped and bit his lip as it trembled. Youngjae grabbed the paper from him as Yugyeom pulled the smaller male close to him and read the rest. 

“Thank you for staying alive. Thank you for pushing even though you feel you can't. We know you're going through a lot, and we’re sorry we aren't able to do much. But we want you to know you're family, and we’ll be here when you need us. And we’ll patiently wait for that moment. So happy birthday Hyung, hope you enjoy it” Youngjae lowered the paper with a smile. “From the awesome Maknae line.”

Jaebum cleared his throat and started to read with Jinyoung’s armed crossed with his. 

“Jackson-ah, happy birthday. We hope that you are enjoying it, even a little. It's been 4 years since we've known you and there's lot of memories with it. I remember when we first celebrated your birthday and we were karaokeing all night. You were set on having the best score and refused to have a partner. Funny thing was, you did the worse. Heh, now that I think about it, it was probably because you sucked ass at Korean. But you left that night with a big smile on your face and didn't even care you lost. And that's when me and Jinyoung realized how happy and content you were as a person. You never really ask for much but are the first to help someone else. You're the first one to lift up the group and as the leader I don't think I thanked you enough for that. Jackson-ah… you're really one of a kind. And you're strong. Jinyoung and I just want to say we love you, and when you're ready to come back, we’ll be here with open arms. Happy birthday. From, JJP.”

Jackson swallowed the lump that was in his throat and his eyes landed on the one left over. Mark unfolded his paper before taking a deep breath.

“Kaka,” he smiled at the raven before speaking in English, “they said a lot things that I'm sure you know I feel the same about so I won't say the same thing. I just want you to know,  _ I love you _ . I love you  _ so _ much and I  _ thank god _ I got to meet you. And I'm beyond happy you love me back. I've had these feelings for a long time and I'm willing- no I am going to wait until you're ready to love me back completely. I don't care if it takes years because all we have is time. Time to be together and time to make memories. So take your time to be you again. And even if you're not completely you it won't matter. I'll love you either way. Happy birthday love, I hope you enjoyed it. And I hope you get better. Love, Mark.”

Jackson was so touched he couldn't even stop the tears from falling. As he stared at everyone he finally realized it; he can get past everything. 

His family was here, his friends were here, and most importantly Mark was here. He didn't have to do it alone. He had them to help him. His heart thumped loudly and he felt weights lift off his shoulder. He looked at everyone and for the first time in a long time he did what everyone in the world missed.

He laughed. 

The most beautiful hyena laugh with the biggest smile blooming on his face as tears fell. It just came out and he couldn’t stop it. This happiness he felt was so overwhelming, but  _ so _ welcomed he could only laugh. Laugh his pain away, laugh at the disappearing bruises, laugh at the memories, laugh that his kidnapper could never hurt anyone else and will rot in jail, laugh he was truly set free, laugh that he could be  _ Wang Jackson _ . It was going to take time, but he wanted it now. He wanted to be better, to be himself. And he was going to try.

Everyone stared in awe as he laughed, and hearts melted before they joined him in happiness. They were right. 

It truly was a great week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So AO3 has finally caught up with PLMI on AFF. Im actually finishing up chap 11 soon and posting it this weekend on AFF. For AO3 ill wait a little so you don't have too much to read ^^


	11. Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update as always!

_ April 2nd, 2015 _

 

After Jackson’s birthday, things were taking a turn for the better- for real this time. Honestly, no one believed the party would make this big of a change in Jackson, but they thank god it did.

The first day after the party he came out his room with gleaming eyes and smiled all day. The second day he decided to stop distancing himself from the members as much. He tried to be more friendly to them, leaning into them while sitting on the couch or simply holding their hands. The third day he finally found the courage to open his mouth again. He surprised them all when he walked through the hallway early morning and shouted a _ Good Morning! _ And speaking in little bursts throughout the rest of the day.

He was opening himself up, in a way the others never expected. But they embraced this change with open arms. Jackson wasn’t exactly like his old self, however he was getting there, and the members were just content with that. 

The thought that Jackson was finally getting better.

\---

Jackson was on the rooftop alone, leaning against the railing he watched the sunset lost in thought. 

He wasn't specifically thinking about one thing, it was more of a mesh of things. From random things,  _ why is Seoul so crowded? _ , to more serious things,  _ what am I going to do? _ , and everything in between. He leaned forward and run a hand through his hair with a huff.

“I knew I’d find you here.”

Jackson snapped his head up and turned around. Jinyoung stepped out and closed the door behind him. He walked over to the older male and smiled, “Whatcha doing up here alone?”

The chinese idol shrugged, “Just thinking…”

“Yeah,” Jinyoung crossed his arms against the railing, “I’ve been doing that a lot recently too.”

“About what?”

“Us.”

Jackson cocked a brow at the other and Jinyoung shrugged. “Not us two. Just the group in general. I've been reminiscing about the past two years.”

“Ah…” Jackson looked out at the city and Jinyoung followed. A comfortable silence fell between the two as they stood on the rooftop. Jackson remembers how uncomfortable he used to feel being near anyone that wasn't Mark. It seems bizarre to him now, thinking how he didn't trust his other members, didn't trust Jinyoung. He almost feels bad about the whole situation but he was thankful the others were understanding and patient with him. He owed a lot to them and promised himself he would repay them somehow.

“Hey Jackson.”

Said idol looked over at his friend. Jinyoung had a soft smile on his face as he looked out to the city. “Remember the night before Girls Girls Girls came out?”

Jackson’s mind immediately flashbacked to that night.

 

_ The dorm was quiet. Everyone was in their respective rooms that night trying to find sleep. However no one could sleep. In less than 2 hours the group of friends would debut, wearing the name GOT7 for all to know. All the blood, sweat, tears, and hard work was finally being rewarded. Jackson was laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling blankly. There were a lot of thoughts running through his head, and he was sure Mark was the same on the other side of the room. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and when it cracked, Jaebum peeked inside. “Are you guys awake?” _

_ Mark sat up nodding “Yeah we’re up.” _

_ “Well come on, grab your blankets and pillows.” _

_ “Wait- why?” Jackson moved out of bed in confusion.  _

_ Jaebum smiled, “We’re all gonna sleep in the living room together. You know, so we wake up as a group.” _

_ Mark and Jackson smiled before quickly grabbing their things. When the three of them walked in the living room the rest of the members were already huddled around in their blankets. Jinyoung looked up and smiled, opening his blanket for Jaebum who instantly laid down and snuggled the younger, kissing his cheek softly. _

_ Jackson’s heart warmed at the sight and he turned away to give them a little privacy. He found a spot next to Youngjae and called Mark over. The redhead followed and they laid down. It was quiet again in the room, everyone in their own thoughts before Yugyeom whispered, “Are you guys excited?” _

_ Bambam sighed out loud next to their maknae, he was playing with the younger’s fingers, “Yes and no.” _

_ “Yeah, same Bambam.” Youngjae mumbled in his cocoon of blankets, “I'm excited to be famous, but I'm nervous for everything that comes with it.” _

_ “It's not so bad,” Jinyoung spoke, snuggling closer to his boyfriend, “It can be fun.” _

_ Jaebum nodded, “You just have to be ready. And I think we are. Because we're doing this together.” _

_ “Together...” Mark mumbled and Jackson looked his way, seeing the worry in his eyes. Instinctively he grabbed the older’s hand and laced them. The older man looked at him for a moment, a small smile gracing his face, “Together.” _

_ Jackson’s words were firm as he looked Mark in the eyes. “Always.” _

_ “Okay, I don't want to sleep nervous or feeling down.” Youngjae stretched out, “What should we do?” _

_ It silent for a moment before Yugyeom started to hum softly. Everyone instantly recognized the song, their title song. Jinyoung closed his eyes with a smile and began to sing the first verse. Slowly each of them joined and they sang the rest of the song together. _

 

Jackson looked at Jinyoung with a quirk of the lips. Of course he remembered that day. The younger male sighed out loud, “I miss those days. When we were so  _ hungry _ and excited to be famous. When we used to sleep crowded together for moral support.” He grabbed the railing and leaned back, stretching his arms, “Looking back makes me feel so nostalgic even though it was only a little over a year ago.”

Jackson nodded. It had only been a year ago. It seemed so far away to Jackson, feeling at least 5 years ago. So much happened in such a little time. His kidnapping was only about a month ago but even that seems so far away now. 

“But I'm glad.” Jackson spoke softly. “I'm glad for the memories.”

A grin graced Jinyoung’s face. “Yeah, I'm glad too.” He pushed off the railing and patted Jackson’s shoulder, “C’mon let's go inside before Mark hyung starts looking for you worried.”

Jackson huffed through his nose but he smiled nonetheless. Jinyoung grinned wider, “You know he loves you and will always worry.”

“Yeah,” Jackson’s smile grew softer, “I know.”

“Then come on let's go. I need cuddles from Jaebum anyways.”

Jackson rolled his eyes and followed the younger male down the stairs.

\---

Mark sat with Jaebum in the living room. The maknae line decided to head to Yugyeom and Bambam’s room to do what, who knows, but the oldest used that to have some alone time. They sat side by side on the couch, shoulders touching and slouched back.

“So much has happened in 2015 and it's only  _ April _ .” Jaebum sighed out loud.

“Mhmmm,” Mark hummed lazily looking at the wall across from him.

“Honestly I’m emotionally drained…”

“Tell me about it.”

“But, things are looking up.”

Mark’s face softened, “Yeah they are.”

Jaebum beamed as he turned his head to his hyung, “Would you believe Jackson came over to me yesterday, grabbed my arm and whined at me to make him pancakes?” 

“Did he now?” Mark looked at him surprised.

“Yeah, I was in complete shock.” Jaebum spoke as he fiddled with the object on his right ring finger. Mark looked at it with slight confusion, “Is that a new ring?”

Jaebum continued to stare at the ring, a soft smile on his face, “Yeah, Jin bought it for our anniversary.”

“He has a matching one?”

“Yeah,” Jaebum chuckled lightly, “He said they’re promise rings.”

“For your future,” Mark smiled, “Your relationship is seriously amazing Jaebum.”

The raven haired male nodded, “Yeah it is. I know Korea still has a stigma against being gay but I really hope in the near future it goes away.” He huffed, “I just wanna marry Jinyoung already...”

Mark turned to him and murmured, “You really love him.”

“Honestly I don’t think love could even describe what I feel for Jinyoung. There’s no one else for me.”

Mark felt his heart flutter at Jaebum’s words. He understood the other’s feelings. He felt the same about Jackson. No matter what happened, he couldn’t see himself giving his all to anyone except the hyperactive boy. His heart knew what it wanted, and it wanted Jackson.

He groaned lightly, “We’re in deep.”

Jaebum shrugged in his slouch, “Yeah but I don't mind drowning in this ‘Jinyoung sea.’ It’s nice.”

Mark laughed, “Same.” Just then the door opened, Jackson and Jinyoung walking inside. The younger of the two noticed Mark and Jaebum and smiled before walking over to them.

“Hey, what are you guys talking about?”

Jaebum pulled his lover closer, and Jinyoung easily found a spot on his lap to sit. Jaebum wrapped his arms around the younger and rested his head against his shoulder, “We were talking about random stuff.”

While Jinyoung began to voice his disbelief of their conversation, Jackson took a seat next to Mark. The brunette smiled at the other, “Hey.”

“Hey…” Jackson leaned his head against Mark’s arm.

“Are you tired Kaka?”

Jackson only nodded and Mark couldn’t help but find him cute. “Okay, let’s get you to bed then.”

“Ok…”

Mark stood up and pulled the tired male up, “I'm taking him to bed.”

Jaebum and Jinyoung looked at the two and acknowledged them with a  _ Goodnight! _ before Jinyoung went back to interrogation Jaebum about his discussion with Mark, and Jaebum grinning while keeping it a secret.

The oldest chuckled at the cute banter and began to walk Jackson to their room. Jackson grabbed moved their hands so that they were intertwined, and Mark had to hide his smile.

“So where were you?” Mark asked as he opened their door.

“The rooftop.”

“Ah, were you just thinking?”

Jackson plopped onto Mark’s bed and snuggling into the blankets. “Mhmm.”

Mark climbed over him to get into his spot next to the wall and crawled into the blankets. He didn't bother to ask Jackson what he was thinking about, he decided to just let Jackson have his privacy. He wasn't really tired so he pulled out his phone and decided to check their SNS.

“Goodnight Mark.”

Mark looked at the other, back turned away from him and blankets hiding his body except the top of his head. Mark smiled and patted his shoulder, “Goodnight Kaka.”


	12. Onto Better Days

_ April 13th _

 

The boys had felt stuffy in their dorm so their manager decided to take them out. The group was sitting at a cozy secluded restaurant. The manager was on the corner and next to him was Youngjae, Mark, and Jackson. On the other side was Jinyoung, Jaebum, Yugyeom, and Bambam. 

They joked and talked just about anything. Bambam mentioning how he wanted to do a girl group dance for the next JYP concert and Yugyeom being a cherry faced messed, Youngjae talking about more piano practice, and the hyungs listening. It was a peaceful dinner and everyone was enjoying themselves. Well, except Jackson.

Not that he wasn’t enjoying himself, because he was and always did when he was with his members, but there was something that has been sitting in his head for  _ days _ now. Something he thought long and hard about. Something he decided he wanted-  _ needed- _ to do.

It was about midway through their meal when Jackson couldn’t hold his thoughts anymore, dropping a bomb on them.

“I want to go back to therapy.”

Everyone snapped their heads up from their food. “ _ What? _ ”

“I want to go back to therapy.” he repeated. 

“Jackson, have you thought this through? Last time it didn’t end well…” Their manager spoke and the members nodded their heads.

“I have thought about it,” Jackson mumbled looking at his food, “I’ve been thinking about it for over a week now. I need to talk everything out. I have a lot of things bottled up inside. This is to get better, so I want to go.”

Mark placed his hand on Jackson’s thigh, silently giving him his support.

Youngjae held his hand across the table, “Hyung, is this what you really want?”

Jackson nodded, “Yes.”

The group remained silent as their manager spoke, “Ok, I’ll make the appointment then.”

Later that night Mark sat next to Jackson on his bed and grabbed his hand. “Jacks are you sure?”

Jackson looked up from his phones and nodded, “I really need it Mark.”

“Last time-”

“Last time I wasn’t prepared- wasn’t ready to talk it out. But,” Jackson looked at the wall opposite of them, “I’m ready now. I’m tired of this. I’m tired of being  _ this _ Jackson instead of  _ that _ Jackson.”

Something in Mark broke hearing that. He turned his body to the other with furrowed brows, “What are you talking about? Every single Jackson is you, and all of you is good.”

Jackson snorted lightly, a wryly smile marring his face, “It’s not enough, or deserving.”

“Deserving of what?” Mark looked completely lost at the younger male. The ravenhead gave him a smile, a smile full of secrets that Mark couldn’t decipher.  _ Of you _ Jackson thought but he decided it was best to keep that to himself.

Jackson shook his head and looked away, “You’ll know soon enough.”

Mark decided not to pry anymore, though it didn’t squash his curiosity. But he knew Jackson would talk to him sooner or later. “Okay.” 

\----

_ April 17th _

 

Jackson sat in the waiting room quietly, fiddling with his hands to distract himself. He checked in 20 minutes ago, he came early to mentally prepare himself.  _ You wanted this, You need this _ is what he kept chanting in his head. To him, this was his first step to recovering. To be  _ that _ Jackson Wang again. 

The one who loves too hard and could cure cancer with a laugh. The one who rivaled J-hope’s happiness whenever GOT7 and BTS hung out. The one who thought after meeting each other only once, you are automatically close friends. The one that everyone loves and misses. The one Mark loved and deserved.

So he had to pull through this. For his friends, for himself, for Mark.

The nurse finally called for him and he stood up, following her to the room. It was the same as last time, the brown paint and black couches. The desk had less papers resting on it than last time Jackson noticed. He sat down on one of the couches and waited for his therapist to come. Five minutes later the door opened and Mr. Lee walked inside. 

“Jackson, it’s good to see you again.” He took his seat opposite of the raven head, putting his clipboard next to him on the cushion. “How’ve you been?”

“I’m okay.” Jackson replied softly.

Mr. Lee leaned back in his seat, “I see you’re talking again.” 

“Yeah, for a week or so. Not a lot though.”

“Something good must have happened, hm?” The doctor gave a knowing look.

Jackson gave a small smile, “Yeah, something like that.”

“I see… So you’re finally ready to talk now?”

_ You wanted this, You need this _ . Jackson nodded, “I’m ready.”

The older male smiled and picked up his clipboard, “Okay, then let’s talk.”

\---

It was 8pm and Jackson was due to come home from therapy at any moment. Even though the raven haired idol said he wanted this, the others couldn’t help but feel scared. To say the group was nervous was an understatement. Thoughts of what happened last time kept nagging them in the back of their minds. They prayed nothing would happen this time. 

They were all doing things to distract themselves. Yugyeom, Youngjae and Jaebum were playing card games while Bambam, Jinyoung, and Mark were playing their game systems. The front door opening broke everyone from their trances. The 6 members snap their heads at the door, watching Jackson walk inside. 

The anxiety in them raised when they saw his red eyes. They got up and walked over to him quickly, bombarding him with questions. Mark managed to stop the questions and Jackson stayed silent. The silence only last a moment before Jackson gave a tired smile. “I’m okay. It was long but… it was good.”

The tension vanished immediately and Jackson chuckled sheepishly, “I had more pent up feelings than I thought. It was refreshing though.”

Jinyoung sighed, “Oh I was so worried.”

“We all were,” Bambam looked relieved at this point. 

Jackson smiled softly, “Sorry for worrying you.”

“Are you hungry hyung?” Youngjae asked, “I can go heat you up some food.”

“No I’m ok,” Jackson rubbed his stomach gently, “I don’t have an appetite.”

Jaebum stood next to him “Are you sure?”

“Yeah I’m sure hyung. What were you guys doing before I came?”

“Oh!” Yugyeom smiled, “Hyung I need you to beat Jaebum hyung in cards. I swear he’s cheating.”

“Stop being a sore loser! I did not cheat!” Jaebum glared at the maknae. 

Jackson chuckled at the two and tapped the youngest’s back, “Sure Yugyeom.”

“Yes! Prepare to lose!” Yugyeom pointed a finger at the irritated leader. Seeing the leader’s eyebrow twitch, an amused Jinyoung grabbed Jaebum’s hand to calm him down, “Don’t blow a fuse hun, it isn’t worth it.” Jaebum deflated instantly, “Fine. But I’m not losing to Jackson, definitely not happening.”

He did indeed ended up losing to Jackson, much too Yugyeom’s elation and Jaebum’s trepidation.

\---   
When everyone settled into their rooms, Mark and Jackson were lying in their beds. The lights were off and both males were up but each in their own thoughts. Jackson sat up and looked over to the other side of the room. “Mark?”

“Hm Kaka?”

“Can we sleep together?”

“Of course,” Mark opened his blankets and Jackson moved to his bed. Lying down Jackson nuzzled his face into Mark’s neck, wrapping his arms around the older’s waist. The brunette naturally ran a hand through Jackson’s hair. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, just thinking is all…” Jackson mumbled against his neck.

“Is it about therapy?”

“Yeah… I just rambled about the kidnapping, everything I felt, and somehow it changed to how I felt about other things. It just got really deep.”

Mark stopped petting Jackson’s hair, “Are you okay?”

Jackson smiled and breathed in Mark’s scent-  _ home _ , “Yeah, I’m really okay.”

The older male stilled for another moment before he continued to pet the other. He let out a heavy sigh, “I’m glad. I was seriously worried.”

Jackson lifted his head, staring at the other with unreadable eyes. Mark stared back. “Jack-”

It was so quick Mark almost thought he was imagining it.  _ He had to have been _ . Jackson didn’t just kiss him. But even though the chinese idol went back to his spot under Mark’s chin, he could still feel the former’s rapid heartbeat. The brunette let a smile fall on his face. Deciding not to say anything, Mark continued to run his hand through Jackson’s hair. 

And the two remained in silence for the rest of the night.


	13. I'm Ready

_ May 5th _

 

Recovery is a long journey. It has its highs and lows, obstacles, sometimes even setbacks. But in the end, something progresses and things get better. And for Jackson things were better. He continued to go to therapy weekly and it was proving to make him feel better. Mr. Lee was a good doctor, one Jackson found easy to open up too. By opening up to his doctor, he found it easier to open up to many other people, including the other members.

He fully initiated skinship with the members now, he joked around more, he followed along in some of the fun antics. You could almost say that Jackson was back to normal, just a tad quieter.

Because of that, things seemed to be normal again, like before the mess occurred. The group celebrated Bambam’s 18th birthday a few days ago. They had a small intimate gathering at the house, just the members and their manager. Yugyeom played the role of perfect boyfriend, making sure everything was to Bambam’s liking. He did the most out of everyone, getting the birthday boy some expensive shoes (Jaebum was honestly scared to ask how much they were) that he had been wishing for a long time. Bambam’s reaction almost comical. You could see it on Bambam’s face just how much he loved the attention he was getting, and his boyfriend had no problem giving more.

It was cute in Jackson’s eyes, seeing the two interact now that they were dating. It was very different than before. In the past, they would tiptoe around each other and give subtle glances when the other wasn’t looking. Now, though not extreme, they put their love out for everyone to see. Yugyeom openly stares at the thai idol whenever he pleases, and Bambam shows his flustered self more.  _ Young Love _ . That’s what Jackson thought whenever he watched them. It was innocent, pure. 

It made Jackson think about his love for Mark back when he was their age. How different everything was. It was a simpler time back then. Even though they never expressed their love and kept it a secret from each other, Jackson was content. He was okay just being a best friend to Mark. He was okay with their overly friendly but not romantic interactions.

Then things got complicated. Jackson was in a dark place, void of any hope. But Mark stayed by his side, like the angel he is and was a beacon of light for Jackson. He revealed the truth, that he had loved the chinese idol, and their relationship changed. Of course Jackson loved Mark back- but he was scared back then. Of anything and everything. He wasn’t ready then, ready to flow back to a regular life. Wasn’t ready to open himself up just yet.

But now it was different. Jackson was moving forward and was ready for a lot of things. He was ready for things to be normal again. And that was the reason for him standing outside of JYP’s office now. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door. He could hear his CEO call him and with a steeled resolve he stepped inside.

JYP looked up and smiled as the raven head took a seat opposite of his desk. “What can I do for you, Jackson-ah?”

“Hyung, I have a request.”

The older male could see the serious look on Jackson’s face and frowned slightly, “What request?”

“I…” Jackson paused before finally saying what was on his mind, “I want to come back to the group. I want to promote again.”

“Jackson,” The look on the CEO’s face was beyond shocked, “You realize what you’re asking right?”

Jackson nodded, “I know. Hyung, I’m tired of feeling trapped, I’m tired of being in the dorm. I’m tired of playing victim. I want to move on. I’m ready to come back.”

The two stared at each other silently for a pregnant moment, before the older sighed, a soft smile marring his face. “I’m glad you feel that way.”

The chinese idol beamed at the other and JYP’s smile grew even more. “This is perfect timing too since I actually had a comeback concept and song planned for you guys before all this happened.”

Jackson gaped at him, “Really?”

“Yeah, so we can use it, now that you’re ready to comeback.” The older grabbed his phone and dialed the group’s manager. He was quiet for a moment before the call was answered. “Hello… can you bring the others to my office please? Thank you.” He hung up the phone and Jackson rocked in his seat nervously. 

“We’re going to tell them now?”

The older male smiled, “The sooner the better.”

It was only a couple of minutes of waiting when the door opened and Jaebum walked inside with the others following suit. The leader looked between Jackson and their CEO, “Is something wrong?”

JYP shook his head, “No I just have news for you.” The group looked amongst themselves before turning their attention to their boss.

“GOT7 will be having a comeback in the near future, July is the projected time.”

All the members’ mouths dropped to the floor at JYP’s words. Youngjae was the first to react, “B-But what about Jackson?! We can’t promote without him!” The other maknae’s nodded in agreement while Jinyoung added, “Pd-nim I don’t like this.” Mark and Jaebum were silently staring at Jackson, trying to read his reaction.

The CEO put a hand up and everyone stilled. JYP nodded, “Of course you wouldn’t promote without Jackson- that’s why he’s going to join you guys.”

“ _ WHAT?!”  _

Jackson turned to the others, “Surprise~ I’m coming back.”

“Kaka, are you sure?” Mark asked.

Jackson smiled at the brunette, “Positive.”

That seemed like all the confirmation Mark needed, because he instantly relaxed. Seeing their oldest calm down, the other group members did the same. “So we’re having a comeback in July?” Jinyoung asked, “So in less than 3 months? Can we pull that off?”

Jaebum sighed but there was confidence in his voice, “Okay, yeah we can pull this off.”

JYP smiled at the sudden energy being moved around the room, “Great. I’ll set everything up and send you your schedule.”

“Yes sir.”

“Now you guys can all go home.” The group bowed and were leaving the room when JYP called, “And Jackson!”

The chinese idol turned around with wide questioning eyes, “Yes?”

“Welcome back.”

All Jackson could do was smile. It felt good to be back.

 

\---

_ May 25th, 2015 _

 

Studio recording officially ended. The producer only needed to finish putting the songs together. It was quite an easy process compared to before. Usually JYP would be harder on them during recording. But this time he was more calm and patient, especially with Jackson. Since the chinese idol’s voice wasn’t in tip top shape just yet JYP didn’t push him too hard. He helped Jackson get the right tone and attitude for each song. To the members it seemed like the least stressful comeback, but they did feel slightly pressured. They were sure the fans would anticipate a lot and the group didn’t want to let them down.

Now the group was learning the dance to Just Right. The choreography wasn't a hard one, you could even call it cute. Definitely one of the easier dances but the group enjoyed it nonetheless.

“You guys I think this will be a fun comeback this time.” Yugyeom exclaimed as they walked into their dorm after practice.

Jinyoung gave a tired smile, “Yeah I think so too, but for now I’m gonna just think about a shower and sleep.”

The others nodded and one by one they each took leave into their bedrooms. Mark was about to head to his room when Jackson called out to him. He looked back at the raven head, “What's wrong?”

Jackson opened his mouth to say something but closed it soon after. He shook his head as he walked to the older’s side. “Nothing nevermind, I’ll tell you another day.”

“You sure?” Mark asked. When Jackson hummed a yes he decided to let it go. “Alright, well let’s head to bed.”

“Ok.”

 

\---

_ May 29th, 2015 _

 

Preparation were still going smoothly. And the group was following their schedule perfectly. Practice had just ended and the group was laying around the room. Yugyeom dragged Bambam to the couch and decided to hog the whole thing up so they could lay and cuddle. Jaebum stared at the couple displeased, but that was because he was going to do the same with Jinyoung. Mark was helping Jackson stretched near the mirrors while Jinyoung and Youngjae were going over dance moves Youngjae was struggling with. Their manager walked into the practice room. “Good practice everyone. Got an announcement: you guys are scheduled to get new hairstyles today.”

“Really?” Bambam rolled in his boyfriend’s hold to face their manager.

“Yeah, jacket shooting as well as the video shooting will be coming up soon. This time boss want you guys to choose what you want- within reason.”

“Welp,” Jinyoung shrugged, “You know I’m not dyeing my hair.”

“Yeah I’m not either,” Jaebum paused for a moment before adding, “Next comeback I will though.”

“I’m going brunette again!” Youngjae sprouted from his squatting position. “I can’t do this blonde anymore, and my roots are showing anyways.”

“Eh, I’ll dye mine.” Bambam shrugged and Yugyeom nodded along.

“What about you Markson?” Jinyoung turned his attention to the pair near the mirror.

Mark only shrugged, “I don’t mind changing it really.”

Jackson was quiet for a moment before he spoke, “I wanna go blonde- with Mark.”

The oldest snapped his head to Jackson, “Huh?”

He looked at Mark like it was the simplest thing in the world, “I wanna match hair with you.”

“Eww couple hair.”

“Bam shut up.”

“You can’t tell me what to do Youngjae!”

“That’s Youngjae  _ Hyung _ to you!”

While the two continued to argue and Jinyoung trying to stop them, Mark looked at Jackson, “You serious?”

Jackson shrugged, “Well yeah, we don’t have to have the same shade but I thought it would be cool…” He trailed off at the end while looking at the ground. The brunette could see the red dusting the other’s ears and smiled. He grabbed Jackson’s hand, “Okay, let’s do it!”

Jackson looked up and the older male was positive his eyes were shining. “For real?”

“Yeah, let's get ‘couple’ hairstyles.”

Jackson smiled and Mark felt his heart swell, knowing he was the reason for this little happiness.

  
(Later Jackson couldn't stop marveling at their hair, Mark amused the rest of the night.)

 

\---

_ Jun 2nd, 2015 _

 

Jackson stood in front of the building for a long moment. It’s been over 2 months since he’s seen this man and to say he was nervous couldn’t truly attest to his feelings. But he spent weeks thinking about this day, so with heavy steps Jackson walked into the building.

Cold. That’s what Jackson would describe it. But how else would you describe a prison? He walked up to the reception and the women instantly recognized him. “I’ll have a guard escort you to the room.”

Jackson gave a small smile in thanks and followed the security guard. After going through several security barriers and check ups, Jackson was lead to room 1C. He sat down on one of the two chairs at the table and waited. 

He remembered when he told the group he wanted to do this,  _ everyone _ vehemently disagreed. Their CEO was even ready to deny him this request but Jackson managed to convince him saying that if he didn’t do this, he would never gain true closure. Even as he left the dorm today, the group looked hesitant to let him go.

So here he was, waiting in the room quietly. The longer it took for the man to come the more nervous Jackson got. He wrung his hands under the table and took deep breaths.

The door opened and Jackson looked up at his worst nightmare. “Jacky?”

Though the name made him want to cave and throw up, Jackson kept a strong front. The prisoner took the opposite seat and the two sat in silence. It seemed like they were in a silent battle, the kidnapper losing when he sighed, “What brings you here Jacky?” he smiled, “Or do you still keep quiet?”

_ Ouch. _ That triggered something inside Jackson but he pushed that aside. He leaned back in his seat and shook his head. “I just wanted to see you in person, in cuffs.” Jackson looked at the older man, “You look awful.”

That made the man snort unattractively, “Prison isn’t pretty, kid.”

“Not my fault you put yourself in this position.”

“True,” The man cocked his head, “Blonde suits you.”

Jackson’s face was blank, “Thanks.”

“I still want to know the reason you’re here, the  _ real _ reason.”

Jackson ran a hand through his blonde hair and sat forward, staring his kidnapper in the face. “I wanted you to see that I won.”

The man gave a confused face and Jackson decided to elaborate for him, “I thought back to the day I was found and you were arrested. How you said this would be my legacy and the only way to escape is to kill myself. You know- I actually thought that was true.” Jackson chuckled, “For a moment, I  _ actually _ thought killing myself would be the answer. But then I thought of all my friends and family. How they’ve been with me through everything. And I knew I couldn’t leave them.”

His kidnapper’s face was void of emotion, Jackson knew that meant the man was angry. “You couldn’t leave  _ Mark _ you mean.”

“Yeah.” Jackson admitted without hesitation. “I couldn’t leave Mark. I love him too much to do that to him. Nothing you did or said could deter my love for him. He was my driving force when I was in your clutches and in my recovery.” Jackson stood from his seat, “So yeah, you lost, I won. I’m moving on with my life, from  _ you _ . If you want to see me, you can always watch me from the TV here in prison.”

“Jackso-”

“I’m done. This is the last time we’ll see each other in person.” Jackson gave him one last look before security opened the door, “Goodbye.”

“ _ Jackson! _ ”

He could hear the man shout for him as the door closed but Jackson ignored the screams and left. Once Jackson walked out the building and felt the sun rays on his skin, everything felt right. His first action was to stretch his body out and sigh. It was officially over, he could put everything behind him. He chuckled and started down the stairs to the van waiting for him. The further he got from the building, the bigger his smile got. And one thing kept repeating in his head.

_ Mark.  _

\---

 

Once the van reached the JYP building, Jackson wasted no time to run inside. He went down the stairs to the practice room in the basement and once he turned the corner he found the person he was looking for.

Mark was pacing back and forth in front of the practice room, arms crossed and biting his thumb nail. Jackson found the site endearing. When Mark heard footsteps he looked up, seeing Jackson. He stopped his pacing and faced the younger. “How did it go? Are you alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine,” Jackson grinned and cocked his head to the stairs, “Hey come to the roof with me?”

Mark tried to ignore the crazy flutters in his chest from the other’s grin while he nodded, following Jackson to the roof. The trip there was silent, and Mark was slightly nervous, not knowing what was to come. Jackson walked outside first and Mark followed, closing the door behind him. 

The platinum blonde was facing away from him looking out to the busy city. He stepped next to Jackson who turned to him. His gaze was strong and full of emotion, ones that Mark reflected back. It was quiet through their eye exchange. A kind no one would want to break. 

But Jackson finally moved, and after waiting  _ so so _ long, he pulled Mark into a kiss. They turned to each other, Jackson pulling Mark close by the waist without breaking the kiss. The older sighed and wrapped his arms around the other’s neck. 

When they parted Jackson whispered, “I love you,” pecking Mark’s lips again and again, “So so much, thank you for waiting.”

Mark opened his watery eyes. “Of course I waited, I love you.”

Jackson smiled and wiped at Mark’s eyes. “I’m glad because I’m tired of waiting. I’ve loved you for too long.”

Mark softly smiled, “How long?”

“About 3 years.”

Mark’s eyes widen slightly, “That… long?”

Jackson nodded with a smile and Mark looked at him silently before resting their foreheads together, “What did I do to deserve you?”

“I should be asking that.” Jackson closed his eyes and nuzzled their noses together, “I guess fate said we did something right.”

Mark blushed from the affection. This was a Jackson he hasn’t seen in months. It made his heart soar seeing the younger like this again. He looked down shyly before asking, “So you’re finally ready… for us?”

Jackson opened his eyes and stared at the other. “Yeah,” he smiled, “I’m finally ready for us.”

Mark’s smile was dazzling as he pulled Jackson back in for a deep kiss, his heart hammering with the thought that he could finally do this. 

That Jackson was finally his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to scream about Kpop or anything else, talk to me on [Tumblr](http://j-hellnah.tumblr.com)! I would love to stay in contact with you guys when this story finishes!


	14. I Love You

_ July 6, 2015 _

 

Jackson sat at the dining table and stared at his phone. He had his instagram app opened for a while but he has yet to do what he intended to do. He was nervous but had anticipation.  _ Ok you got this _ . He ran a hand through his blonde hair and raised the phone. With his eyes closed he gave a small smile and peace sign before snapping the picture. When he decided it was IG worthy he posted it with the caption “ _ Hello Ahgases! It’s Jackson, I know it’s been a long time but look out for youtube today @ 2pm KST. Some important stuff will be said and explained. Thank you guys. _ ”

He let out a breath. He hoped the reaction to the video would be okay. He thought about what he said.

 

_ “Okay Jackson,” Their manager said, “Talk whenever you’re ready.” _

_ Jackson sat down on a couch in front of a camera. He could feel his palms sweat in anxiousness. He looked up and saw his members behind the camera giving encouraging smiles. Mark, his lovely boyfriend, gave him a thumbs up and mouthed ‘You can do it!’ _

_ Jackson took a deep breath looking at the camera, “Hello everyone, it’s Jackson from GOT7. I’m sure you guys are surprised to see me after such a long time. I even dyed my hair blonde!” Jackson scratched his head shyly, “I hope it looks good. Anyways I wanted to talk to you about what’s been going, what happened to me. It’s been a tough four/five months. I was kidnapped, held captive for two weeks and suddenly the world was flipped upside down for me. Everything was just- wrong and it felt like I would never leave this dark void I was in.” _

_ “But,” Jackson smiled, “I had my family and friends who stood by my side and helped me find myself again. They were patient and loving and without them I wouldn’t have been able to get to where I am now. I’m okay. I go to therapy every week, I interact with the members more, I smile and laugh again- I’ve just learned to move on. Yeah I still have my moments of weakness every once in awhile, because it is hard to fully let traumatic things go, but I learned to channel that into strength. Now here’s the main reason I’m making this video.” _

_ Jackson leaned forward and let a grin rest on his face, “I’ve missed you guys and I’m sure you guys have missed us too. So that’s why I’m giving you the great news: we won’t be apart for long. GOT7 will be having a comeback this month, July 12th! That’s less than two weeks from now! I know you guys might think it’s a little soon for me to come back, but I promise you guys I’m okay. I wanted to go back to being me, and you Ahgases are apart of who I am. Okay, I’ve talked long enough I think you guys are tired of my rambling,” Jackson let out a soft chuckle, “Anyways look out for the MV! Thank you guys, love you!” He waved as the cameraman shut off the camera. _

_ He let out a huge sigh while looking at the group, “Good?” _

_ Everyone nodded as Mark responded, “Good.” _

  
  


Jackson was pulled from his thoughts when he heard an infinite sound of notification alerts from his phone. He forgot to change his setting still on his new phone, but his heart swelled seeing all the happy fans commenting on his IG post. He smiled at the comments when Mark walked into the dining room, “Whatcha lookin at Kaka?”

Jackson held up his phone for his boyfriend to see, “People are excited.”

The almond blonde grinned, “Of course they would be. They haven’t heard from you in months.”

The platinum blonde softly smiled as he put his phone back down, “Yeah…”

Mark took a seat next to Jackson and laced their hands together. “Are you nervous?”

The younger shook his head, “More excited than anything.”

“I’m glad,” Mark rubbed his thumb on the back of Jackson’s hand, “Everyone really missed you.”

Jackson wiggled his brows, “ _ Everyone? _ ”

The older male rolled his eyes while smiling, “Yes everyone- including me.”

“Then,” Jackson leaned forward slightly, “Show me?”

Mark didn’t need to be told twice. He closed the gap between them and pressed a chaste kiss against the other’s lips. He went to pull back when Jackson followed him, pressing for a deeper kiss. Mark didn’t pull away instead pressing closer.

“Sigh, I swear this honeymoon phase is  _ so _ bad.”

“Can’t help themselves.”

Mark and Jackson pulled away to see Jaebum and Jinyoung watching them. Jinyoung had his hands on his hips while Jaebum crossed his arms. Mark flushed and Jackson pouted. “You guys are always being lovey dovey in front of us, you don’t get to judge.”

Jinyoung smiled as he took a seat opposite of them, “We don’t kiss in front of people though.”

“That’s for private times,” Jaebum said while taking his seat next to his boyfriend. Jackson scoffed and Mark chuckled.

“What are you guys talking about?”

The four males looked over at the hallway to see Youngjae come with Bambam and Yugyeom behind him, Yugyeom giving his boyfriend a piggyback ride.

“Nothing just teasing the new lovebirds,” Jaebum spoke and Jackson pouted even more. “Ahhh” Youngjae hummed. He joined them at the table while Yugyeom stayed standing with Bambam on his back.

“You guys are so mean.” Jackson mumbled.

“Hey we’ve been waiting for you guys to get together for ages so let us have our fun hyung.” Bambam spoke over Yugyeom’s shoulder and the latter shrugged, “We got teased the first few days we started dating.”

“It’s been a month,” Mark pointed out.

“You guys are an exception,” Jinyoung said with ease, “You guys have always been.”

Jackson slid in his chair with crossed arms. “Mean…”

Mark couldn’t help but laugh at the other’s grumble. He embraced the pleasant fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He hadn’t felt this happy in a long time, and all he could was be thankful. Things were finally perfect.

 

\---

 

Days passed by and the comeback was getting closer and closer. The dorm was buzzing with excitement to be back in promotion as a full team. They had a meeting explaining their busy schedule for the next few weeks and when they returned home that night, Jackson and Mark wanted to spend some alone time together.

So the two found themselves on the roof of their dorm, sitting next to each other sharing a thin blanket and looking up at the stars. It was quiet but the two didn’t mind, enjoying the peace they were granted. Mark laid his head on the younger’s shoulder when the latter pulled him close.

“Kaka…?”

“Hm?” Jackson turned his head to him.

Mark looked up and asked with a smile, “ Do you ever wonder what it’s like to love someone and be loved back?”

Jackson was silent for a moment, seemingly processing what he was asked. A smile broke out on his face and he chuckled, “This feels awfully familiar.”

Mark’s smile only grew and he pressed himself flush against the platinum blonde. “It was 6 months ago when you asked me that.” He sighed, “When you talked about the butterflies in your stomach, to see stars… it was when you said that, did I realize I loved you.”

Jackson ducked his head, ears flushing a deep red, “Really?”

The almond blonde hummed in response. He peeked at his boyfriend before shyly asking, “When did you know you loved me?”

Jackson glanced back at him for a moment but quickly turned away, rubbing his nape embarrassed, “It was such a long time ago…”

The older male moved, pulling his knees to his chest, and laid his head on them looking expectantly at Jackson. “I still wanna know.”

Jackson sighed out loud. He side eyed the other before finally spilling the beans, “It was a year after I became a trainee. We were crazy close and it was special to me. I know I had a lot of friends as a trainee but- I felt like no one really got me but you. We had a connection I couldn’t find with anyone else. And then you invited me to go to LA with you to see your family and at that point I just knew. The whole trip was a wake up call for me.”

He crossed his arms, “I didn’t act on them because I didn’t want things to change. I thought I’d rather keep you as a friend than lose you completely. Plus I was a 17 year old teen who was a scaredy cat.” He looked less embarrassed now, “But I don’t regret it. I just wish things happened a little quicker.”

Hearing the other’s words made Mark blushed but he didn’t hide it, grinning at the other instead, “Hey Kaka?”

Jackson looked at him semi wary, “Yeah?”

Mark waited a moment before he spoke in perfect mandarin. “ _ I love you _ ,”

The look on Jackson’s face was one Mark would never forget. One full of warmth and all of the world’s love. Jackson’s eyes softened into crescent moons and the smile resting on his face was the most beautiful Mark had ever seen. Then again, everything about Jackson was beautiful. Nothing could compare in the almond blonde’s eyes. To him Jackson was the definition of perfection. He felt Jackson cradle his face gently with his strong hands and looked up at the bright eyes. Jackson’s smile turned gentle as he spoke just above a whisper.

“ _ I love you too Yien _ .”

And Mark let himself get pulled into a deep kiss, one he returned with equal love.

 

\---

 

_ July 11, 2015 _

 

The countdown to the music video’s release was only hours now. Two to be exact. The group was excited to watch it together when it was uploaded. The teaser had received a lot of love and fans were expecting great music. So the group was huddled together in the living room, laptop connected to the TV and waited impatiently.

After they watch the video the group was going to sleep together in the living room, just like they did during their debut. They felt this was a special comeback and should be together during the experience.

So for the next two hours they distracted themselves and joked around. They even argued on who was the best couple and Youngjae was pinned as the deciding factor, much to his dismay. He didn’t give them an answer though, refusing to pick. So they had to settle their petting competition.

When the clock hit 12:00am, Jinyoung was quick to go on JYP’s Youtube channel and sure enough there was their new music video. Jinyoung clicked the video and moved back to this spot in between Jaebum’s legs, leaning against his chest. They all watched with excitement and awe. They even laughed at silly parts like Jackson’s scene with the creme pie, and Bamba, popping out of the candy.  The video soon came to an end and the room was momentarily quiet until Yugyeom laughed out loud. He grinned at his hyungs, “I’m so happy we’re back!”

The others grinned with him and agreed. Jackson beyond happy with the video and the song. He leaned against the bottom of the couch and sighed contently, feeling Mark’s weave with his. “It is great to be back…”

 

\---

 

_ July 16, 2015 _

 

Today was a busy one. Everyone was hustling around to have everything prepared. Today was the first live performance on M Countdown. They had gotten there before 8 am and did rehearsals. More groups and artists came too, some surprised to see Jackson while others smiled and waved at him. Some he was more acquainted with walked over to him giving him hugs and words of encouragement, even female idols, deciding to forget public opinion. It warmed Jackson’s heart how many people supported him. 

By 11 fans began to file in and the room was full. Jackson was standing off to the side looking at the crowd in front of the stage. Many of the IGOT7s were murmuring to themselves. Once the PD of M Countdown announced GOT7 to perform next, the fans all screamed and shouted, making Jackson’s heart swell.

He felt a presence next to him and turned to see Mark fixing his earpiece. The almond blonde looked up and smiled. “Hey you.”

Jackson smiled back, “Hey…”

Mark finished with his earpiece and grabbed the younger’s hand. “Are you nervous?”

“Yeah, but I’m excited too.”

“You’re gonna do great.”

Jaebum walked passed the couple to go to Jinyoung near the stairs of the stage, “We go up in a minute!”

“Ok!” They both called. Mark looks back at Jackson, “Ready?”

Jackson turned to the other with a big grin. He pulled Mark into a chaste kiss before he ran off to the stairs. “I’m ready!!”

And as he faced the screaming crowd in front of him, only one thing came to mind.

 

_ Let’s do this _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear lord we have one chapter left!!! Ahhhhhh I'm not readyyyyy ;;-;;
> 
> _Technically_ speaking this is the end of the main story. Next chapter is more an epilogue and a fast forward to Fly era :) but I'll try to make it as long as I can!
> 
> Scream kpop or anything else with me on [Tumblr](http://j-hellnah.tumblr.com)!


	15. Fin

Time passed quite quickly for everyone. Performing as a whole group again left the members constantly busy with different schedules. Jackson found himself recently occupied with many solo activities. He dived into the variety world and even landed himself a spot in a chinese show. Then they began their promotion period for their newest series, Flight Log. Before they knew it, a year passed since Jackson’s kidnapping. And much to Youngjae’s joy, it’s been a year since both Yugyeom and Bambam’s, and Mark and Jackson’s relationships started, another year added to Jaebum and Jinyoung’s.

The maknaes were still cute in their interactions, acting like middle schoolers in love. Innocent and pure. Bambam tended to get jealous easily, and Yugyeom had to appease the needy Thai idol but the maknae never seemed to mind. He held Bambam on a pedestal.

Jaebum and Jinyoung were still the same, the definition of domesticality. Their relationship was 4 years strong and didn’t seem to be ending anytime soon. Sadly Jaebum had a back injury right before their first solo concert. He had to miss out on a few of the concerts and it hurt him how much he disappointed the fans. Jinyoung refused to let him feel that way though, being a strong pillar for Jaebum and helped him while he recovered. It still baffled the group just how connected the two were, how much they depended on each other.

For Mark and Jackson, their honeymoon phase never faded. The more time passed, the more Jackson let go and focused on the present. This meant he opened up more to everyone, especially with Mark. Jackson was back to normal, being his full fledge hyperactive self. During the year their love only seemed to strengthen and the need to be next together all the time grew. Jackson didn’t even try to hide his affection in front of public eyes and honestly neither did Mark. They could pass it off as skinship for the fans, so they never held back. The only thing they had to refrain from was kissing each other, which turned out to be hard for Mark.

Literally the urge to kiss Jackson and hold him close occured way to often for Mark to push it aside so easily. He’s caught himself slipping, and he’s seen it through SNS when fans posted about markson. That usually resulted in lectures from Jaebum and Jinyoung.

_“If we can hold back- have been holding for years, why can’t you?”_

Luckily Jackson was always there to save him from embarrassment. _“You guys kissed while doing the pocky challenge! Don’t even try to fight that Jinyoung!”_ And that always seemed to shut them up.

All in all, things were looking up.

 

\---

_June 4th, 2016_

 

“Ughhhh” Youngjae groaned.

“Jae quit groaning,” Jaebum sighed looking through their DVD collection.

“But _hyung_ ,” Youngjae squirmed in his spot on the couch, “It’s. So. Hot.”

“Oh my god Youngjae!” Bambam snapped, “Go sit in front of a fan or something!”

“Who put a stick up your ass Bam?” Jinyoung asked from the table, cold water in his hand.

Bambam frowned, “No one did…”

“Well something’s wrong with you.” Youngjae spoke. “What’s wrong?”

“Ask _this_ one.” Bambam pointed a finger at Yugyeom before stalking away. The tall maknae frowned at the retreating ravenhead.

“What did you do now?” Jaebum asked. Yugyeom rolled his eyes, “I didn’t do anything. He’s just mad because I text Jungkook a lot.”

“Ah,” Jinyoung smirked, “He’s jealous.”

“Exactly,” Yugyeom huffed. “It’s annoying. Jungkook is my best friend.”

Youngjae pouted lightly, “Maybe he thinks you’ll fall for Jungkook?”

“That’d never happen. I love Bam,” Yugyeom spoke with such conviction it made Jinyoung smile. He rested his cheek on his palm, “Maybe you should tell him that Yuggie.” The maknae bit his cheek with crossed arms. He sighed, “Yeah I guess so.”

Jaebum finally picked out a movie before shooing Yugyeom away, “Chop, chop. Or else he’s going sulk harder.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m going,” Yugyeom walked away and the front door opened. Mark and Jackson stepped inside and Youngjae brightened up, “Hey hyungs! How did the shopping go?”

Jackson grinned as he lifted up his wrist, “We got matching bracelets!”

Jaebum smirked, “First necklaces, now bracelets. What’s next, _rings_?”

Mark blushed at the reference and Jackson grinned wider, “Hell yes.”

“Oh my god~” Jinyoung squealed from his seat.

“I mean to be fair Jaebum hyung,” Youngjae piped up, “you and Jinyoung hyung got matching rings last year.”

“We’re different,” Jaebum said as if that was the perfect answer.

Mark squinted confused and Youngjae pursed his lips, “What does that even mean?”

“We’re practically engaged,” Jinyoung shrugged while sipping his water.

“Whaaaaaaaat!” Jackson shouted. “You guys are _engaged_?!”

Jaebum shook his head smiling, “No. He’s saying rings are something natural for us to have at this point.”

“That was _not_ what he was saying” Mark muttered. The couple in question both shrugged, not bothered in the slightest. “I’m so done with them,” Jackson looked over at his boyfriend, “Mark let’s go get ice cream.”

“ _Take me with you!_ ” Youngjae cried. Jackson rolled his eyes when Mark nodded. The brunette smiled at the blonde and pat his cheek, “C’mon Kaka.”

“ _Ugh_ _fine~_ ,” Jackson frowned lightly, “You’re lucky I love you.”

Mark pecked his lips and Jackson brightened up. Youngjae shook his head, “Whipped.”

 

\---

_June 12th, 2016_

 

The 2nd concert in Bangkok was a success and the group was glad it was finally over. They got to rest now before their next tour stop. They reached the hotel and each of them went into their rooms.

Mark flung himself onto the bed, laying on his back and sighed out loud, “Ah that was fun.” Jackson closed the door behind him but didn’t move, instead leaning against the door, “Yeah it was.”

Mark craned his neck to look at the blonde, “Whatcha doing over there?”

“Nothing, just admiring you.” Jackson replied back cheeky. The brunette chuckled before laying his head back again, “So cheesy, you’re lucky I love it.” Jackson walked over to the bed and hovered over the older male

“Yien.”

The older male cocked his head to the side, “Hm?” The blonde didn’t say anything at first, just laying down next to Mark and smiling. He stroked the older’s cheek, “I love you a lot.”

Mark smiled softly, “I love you too.” He shifted to his side and kissed Jackson, who responded instantly. It was sweet and loving like any other they’ve shared together. Jackson ran a hand down Mark’s side until he gripped his waist.

Somehow they found themselves on top of each other, with Jackson on top of Mark. Mark ran his hands through the short blonde hair, tugging at the nape and Jackson moaned lightly. They pulled apart gasping for air, their breath mixing and stared deeply into each other’s eyes. Jackson smiled before nuzzling their noses and pressed a kiss to Mark’s lips and trailing a path down his cheek to his neck.

Mark panted when he felt Jackson bite at his collarbone. Things were shifting and he wasn’t sure if it was okay to go to this territory. He gripped Jackson’s shoulder and shuttered, “J-Jackson?”

“Hm?” Jackson hummed while nipping at a love bite he left behind.

“A-Are you sure?”

“Are you sure?” Jackson asked back and Mark, mind muddled and blank, replied without hesitation, “I’m always sure with you but-”

The younger smiled, “Then we’re good.”

“ _Jackson_ .” Mark pushed him away slightly. He didn’t like this nonchalantness coming from the other. This was a serious situation. _Things_ happened to Jackson, and Mark didn’t want to trigger him or worse- for him to fall back. Mark didn’t want that to happen again. “I’m serious right now.”

“Mark,” Jackson looked at him seriously, “I’m sure about this. It’s not the most ideal moment but I’ve been wanting this longer than you would think. I’m not thinking about him anymore,” he kissed the brunette’s hand, “Just you.”

Mark grinned up at him after a few seconds, “Ok.” He grabbed the hem of the other’s shirt and pulled it up. Jackson chuckled and helped taking the shirt off, “Hasty aren’t we?”

“I won’t lie, I’ve been dying to touch you for a while now, but I didn’t want to do anything ‘til you were ready...” Mark said as he stared at the naked chest above him. He gently ran a hand over it, remembering how a year ago it was covered in bruises and cuts. Now it was healed and tan, better than ever. His eyes trailed down and he saw the faded, barely visible word on Jackson’s hipbone; _Mine_. He didn’t know where it came from but Mark had to bite his lip from the sudden sadness that washed over him seeing the word. He knew Jackson was passed it but his heart still hurt thinking about it all.

“Hey,” Jackson cupped his face, “What’s wrong?”

Mark sniffled and leaned into Jackson’s touch as he wiped his eyes, “You’ve been through so much. I’m just glad everything is okay.” The younger’s eyes softened at his words and he kissed him deeply, “I’m glad too but baby, don’t cry.”

The brunette’s mood lightened up hearing the petname. “Am I killing the mood?” he chuckled.

Jackson vehemently disagreed, “Never! Now then,” he grabbed the hem of Mark’s shirt, “Where were we?”

Mark smiled innocently and raised his arms up, “You were about to take my clothes off and show just how much you love me.”

Jackson smirked, eyes suddenly predatory, “Yup.”

Mark’s shirt was pulled over his head and he giggled when Jackson attacked him with hungry kisses and engulfed him in his warmth. The entire night was warm and full of teasing but as Mark gave himself to Jackson, as they finally connected in the most intimate way, he didn’t mind it at all.

In fact, for a first time- it was perfect.

 

\---

 

Jackson laid on his side, his hand supporting his head up as he stared at the sleeping male next to him that early morning. He trailed the pattern of hickies that covered the brunette’s neck with his eyes. He could only imagine the red lines that trailed down his back.

He gently skimmed the back of his hand against Mark’s cheek. The best way to describe yesterday for the blonde was amazing. Well, anything that included Mark was amazing to him. The brunette was the personification of the word ‘angel’ in both looks and heart. A heart of gold was what Mark had, and even though the former disagreed all the time, Jackson would always think that. Not just anyone would stay by his side after what he went through, how he treated everyone for a while. That’s why he knew Mark truly loved him.

It honestly still surprised him that Mark even loved him to begin with, but he was grateful he did. He had always thought he would just be the brunette’s best friend. At 17 years old he told himself not to even get his hopes up. He was prepared to be friend zoned all his life. Thinking back Jackson didn’t know how he even managed to deal with that. Now that Mark was his, he couldn’t imagine their relationship any other way. Not being able to kiss him, hold him, tell him he loved him so much- it just felt so wrong to Jackson. Just being a friend to Mark would have been too painful and borderline impossible. But either way, he considered himself lucky. Jackson didn’t even notice Mark was awake until he had spoke quietly.

“You’re staring Kaka.”

Jackson smiled at him, “Is that a bad thing?”

Mark hid his smile in his pillow, “No.”

The blonde ducked and pressed a kiss to the brunette hair, “Good morning.”

“Good morning~”

Jackson laid back down facing Mark, “Today is our free day, anything you want to do?”

The older shook his head, peeking an eye at the other, “I just wanna have a lazy day with you.”

“Ooh~ do I hear sex and cuddles in that sentence?” Jackson grinned.

“Jesus Christ,” Mark laughed, “Is this how it’s going to be with you now?!”

“Nah, just for today.”

“Sure.” Mark smiled and closed his eyes, “We can do sex and cuddles after I sleep some more.”

“ _You’re making me wait?!_ ” The blonde gasped in mock disbelief.

Mark turned away from him, “Yup. You’re more than welcome to join me in slumber land.”

Jackson moved closer and wrapped an arm around him, nuzzling into his neck. “Yes sir.”

Mark held back his giggle and let sleep consume him again, not before hearing Jackson whisper in his neck, “I love you…”

  
  
  
  
Three hours later the rest of the group banged on the door, demanding a group outing around Bambam’s hometown. So, sex and cuddles did _not_ happen that day, much to Jackson’s despair. But he guessed that was okay. He had a lifetime to do that with Mark. And the thought only made him the happiest man on the earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're at the end! I was so emo as I wrote the last scene for this fanfic. But I do want to say thank you again for all the love and support you gave me while writing this <3 I'm not done writing markson fanfics so I'll definitely be around!! And again, thank you for all the Kudos/Comments, they meant a lot to me!
> 
> If you want to talk, add me on [Tumblr](http://j-hellnah.tumblr.com)!


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